b0ll0cks Rants And Other Spectacles

Ron Paul For President !

2012-01-02T10:03:00.000-08:00

I had to post this here. I know this blog gets traffic and I thought this would be a good place for a Ron Paul banner. The mainstream media doesn't seem to want to cover this guy properly, so do yourself a favor and check out congressman Paul's campaign website, and see for yourself what the mainstream press doesn't want you to know. You decide ! Ron Paul for President 2012 !

Click here to go directly to his campaign site.

Click here for another site. Dr.Ron Paul

Another interesting site with Dr. Ron Paul info.

New Blog

2011-11-02T12:49:00.000-07:00

First thanks to everyone that stopped by b0ll0cks rants and other spectacles. The blog was a lot of fun to create, but as I stated in my last post all good things, or terrible things come to an end.

I just created a new blog. It's much more serious than this one. It's a D.I.Y. on steam trunk restoration. I figured I would drop a link here for anyone that might be interested in what I've been up to.

Thanks again to anyone that stopped by here and regularly followed this blog. I can now be found at "My Old Steam Trunk".

http://diy-steam-trunk.blogspot.com/

The End Of An Era

2011-10-12T17:11:00.000-07:00

Well, all good things (OR TERRIBLE THINGS), come to an end. After considerable internal dialog and self debate, I've decided that this blog is officially over. It was fun, but I just don't feel like putting the time or effort into this project anymore. I went through the blog and removed some of the extremely ridiculous posts, and left the videos and some of the stuff that I found amusing and fun. I just feel that if your not going to put 100% into something you probably shouldn't be doing it.

I was going to delete the entire site, but just couldn't bring myself to do it. I may do another blog in the future, probably something a little more serious. I would like to thank anyone that stopped by here regularly, and hope you had as much fun reading this stuff as I had writing it.

With that said I'd like to quote Jimi Hendrix I think ? - "See you in the next life and don't be late!"

Summer Cleaning - Blog Direction

2011-08-12T14:16:00.000-07:00

I'm going to be doing some end of summer cleaning up around here. I don't know what direction I want to take this blog in, but I know I don't want to delete it. I also know the blog will be changing a bit. This may just end up to be a place for me to drop some random thoughts. If anyone still stops by here, expect some posts soon, and also some changes. Check back soon and thanks for stopping by.

KMFDM - A Drug Against War Video

2011-03-28T14:50:00.000-07:00

After my post about the Barry Bonds steriod debate and drug prohibition in general, I thought this would be a fitting music video to post. KMFDM is really the band that got me into industrial music back in the day. Here is some information about KMFDM:

Italic text taken from wiki:

KMFDM (originally Kein Mehrheit Für Die Mitleid) is an industrial band led by German multi-instrumentalist Sascha Konietzko, who founded the group in 1984 as a performance art project. KMFDM have released sixteen studio albums, and had sold approximately 2 million records in the United States alone as of September 2003, with multiple albums selling more than 100,000 copies, and a number of singles becoming club hits.

The band has undergone many line-up changes, including countless guest appearances by other musicians. The earliest incarnation of the band included German drummer En Esch and British vocalist Raymond Watts, the latter of whom would leave and rejoin the group several times over its history. Guitarist Günter Schulz joined in 1990, and both he and Esch continued with the band until KMFDM broke up in 1999. Konietzko resurrected KMFDM in 2002 (with Esch and Schulz declining to rejoin), and by 2005 the current line-up emerged, including American singer Lucia Cifarelli, British guitarists Jules Hodgson and Steve White, and British drummer Andy Selway.

KMFDM are considered one of the first bands to bring industrial music to mainstream audiences, though Konietzko refers to the band's music as "The Ultra-Heavy Beat". Their early albums relied heavily on samples, drum machines, and synthesizers. The addition of Schulz moved the band in a more industrial metal direction. The band incorporates heavy guitar riffs, electronic music, samples, and often female vocals in their music.

Click here for the rest of the wiki on KMFDM.

Here is the KMFDM official website.

KMFDM Myspace page.

Image of Sascha performing with KMFDM taken from wiki commons.

Barry Bonds Steroid Debate And Drug Prohibition

2011-03-24T15:45:00.000-07:00

The recent indictment of Barry Bonds on perjury and steroid use got me thinking about the stigma of steroid use and how it is frowned upon in our society. If he is found guilty people will call him a cheat, a poor role model, and generally bastardize the poor guy for really only trying to improve himself. Personally I feel people, especially the young should pick better role models than sports figures, but that’s just me. I understand that somewhere in Mr. Bond’s contract there is probably a line or two about drug use and performance enhancing drugs, which does make it a legal issue. However, let’s put the ethics of Barry Bonds aside for a moment and look at this from a different perspective or point of view.

I never understood the concept of “A War On Drugs”. I realize that minors or those underage should refrain from drug use, however a grown adult is a completely different story. If a grown man or woman chooses to do drugs, they are educated on the facts, and know the risks involved, who are any of us to stop them? The concept of prohibition seems completely ludicrous in a society of freedom loving, intelligent adults. This also goes for the use of steroids, cybernetics, and genetic manipulation.

We are coming to an age where we will inevitably incorporate the use of drugs, steroids, genetic manipulation, and cybernetics into the human body. Like the early treatment of scientists like Galileo, Copernicus, and many before and after them, I feel we are retarding the natural scientific evolution of man. We now have the ability to improve the body and mind with the incorporation of chemical, cybernetic and genetic manipulation, yet many of us not only fear this technology but retard its development by any and all means necessary. Like the early days, we concern ourselves with religious dogma, ethics, and moral codes which should no longer pertain to an educated modern man.

By utilizing these new techniques in modern medicine and genetics, in a controlled, consensual environment, we can unlock the true potential of the human mind and body. We will also make limitless discoveries on how to incorporate these new scientific techniques into cures for the diseased, disfigured, and mentally challenged. This new age of medicine is the dawning of the creation of super humans, stronger, smarter, and more agile than those of the old age. We have to get past the dogma of interfering with “Gods perfect” creation and thoroughly research and study these new possibilities.

People seem to be scared to death of steroids, gene manipulation, cybernetics and drugs, yet many have no problem ingesting genetically modified food products. This of course is gene manipulation on a botanical level, and the long term effects of consuming these products is yet to be fully known. Not many people seem to be overly concerned with this, yet we go ballistic when someone is using drugs, taking steroids, or experimenting with stem cells and genetic manipulation of humans. Hum!

The addition of genetically modified food by big corporations into the human food supply prematurely is a grave error. It would appear that the human population has become the unwitting test subjects in a premature experiment in bio engineering. These crops should be researched, and studied in a very controlled environment until all possibilities of error are removed. The current research being done in this field is not intelligent research, premature, and unethical. The consumption of these products should be on a voluntary basis, with a thorough study of their impact on both the human body and the environment they are grown in. This study IMHO should be an ongoing project spanning at least 50 to 100 years diagnosing the environment they are grown in, the test subjects ingesting these products, and their offspring. I would think a test group of at least three generations for consumption would be an adequate and thorough study. This is the only intelligent way to explore these new fields of science, and eradicate any possibility of failure, error or complete ecological disaster.

These same techniques of scientific studies and research could be used on willing human test subjects who consent to the testing of different drugs, steroids, cybernetic implants, and genetic manipulations. Researching the effects on the body, the environment they interact with and of course future generations of offspring would be imperative. This is the only way to discover the true effects both positive and negative of these substances, and medical procedures.

One way to research this would be to incorporate the use of these new possibilities into sports leagues with willing participants. For example steroid use bodybuilding leagues, football, hockey, baseball, etc. Athletes seem to want to experiment with these drugs and this would be a perfect control environment for scientific study. Doctors would administer the drugs, educate the subjects on what they were doing and the possible side effects, document the effects, and they would be able to fully research how these substances affect the human body. We could also have playoff games of natural athletes verse chemical athletes to see how big of a difference the use of these substances really make. If athletes want to use these substances this seems like an intelligent and ethical way to further research this new science. We could also do similar experiments with both cybernetics and genetic manipulation as these seem to be the natural evolution of body enhancing products.

Another useful research group would be adults who would like to experiment with these products. By being able to utilize these products under doctor supervision we can research anti aging products, memory improvement, muscular development in seniors and adults over the age of 40, and the true effects these products have on the human body. If anything, we could limit the use of these products to adults over the age of 35, who are fully grown and the body has stopped producing some of the naturally occurring chemicals which will result in the degenerative effects of old age.

By researching on healthy, willing subjects we can further discover uses for people with diseases like cerebral palsy, and degenerative muscle disorders. This form of research is not only safer for the user of these substances and procedures, but absolutely invaluable to the researchers involved and the science community in general.

Although the concepts of drug use, steroid use, genetic manipulation, and cybernetics may seem extreme to some, there are many among us who would like to experiment and utilize these new products. Researching these products in a safe, sane and consensual environment seems to be the intelligent and ethical approach. If history teaches us anything, prohibition never really seems to work. On a final note, I think it’s safe to assume that whether we like it or not, the inevitable future evolution of man will probably be the incorporation of gene manipulation, and cybernetics into the human body. This is not science fiction anymore, but science fact.

Rethink Nuclear Meltdown

2011-03-13T11:42:00.000-07:00

Regardless of the outcome of the Japanese nuclear reactors, is it maybe time to rethink nuclear energy? I've been around long enough to remember the early debates, and the incidents of Chernobyl. Over the last 20 years, like most of the rest of us, I've come to the conclusion that maybe nuclear energy is a safe alternative. Maybe, it's time to rethink that.

Even if we only have one incident every 20 or 30 years, is that one incident too many? Like idiots who do the same thing over and over again expecting a different result, we the people continue to stick with stupid ! There are so many alternative forms of energy in this day and age, why do we insist on using this extremely dangerous form? If anything can go wrong, it probably will. We need to take that into consideration. Following the safest protocol, an act of nature or an act of stupidity could render the entire system of checks and balances completely moot.

We have wind turbine technology, solar farms, and even water turbines to produce electricity. Coal burning plants may not be as clean, yet the danger associated with them is relatively less when you look at the alternatives of nuclear power.

I think it's time for people to start demanding the radical incorporation of these newer forms of energy. The costs associated with these alternative start ups may be high initially, yet the long term results will be choices that we will have been proud of, thus insuring the well being of the planet and future generations.

On a final note, the clean up cost of one of these disasters in itself is probably enough to consider these alternative forms of energy. If Japan does turn into a worst case scenario the clean up costs and environmental implications are going to be astronomical.

Video Lenny Kravitz Let Love Rule

2011-02-11T13:09:00.000-08:00

The video of the week is Lenny Kravitz - Let Love Rule. The other day I was playing around on amazon.com and came across the album Let Love Rule on sale for $5.00. No I'm not an Amazon affiliate, and I'm not trying to sell you anything (just stating the facts). I like to shop in the small mom and pop used cd shops and have been looking for this cd and Mama Said for some time now with no luck. So I decided to download both of them from Amazon when I discovered them the other day.

I've been trying to rebuild my alternative rock collection. When I got divorced I took the techno and dance tracks, and the x took the alternative collection. Slowly, I've been rebuilding my alternative rock collection, only to find some albums very hard to find, or discontinued :( It's also rather funny how musical tastes change with time. Some albums that I absolutely loved 10 or 15 years ago, I think are complete crap now. That however is not the case with Lenny Kravitz. This guy rocks !

I thought this was a fitting track selection with the success of the peaceful protests in Egypt today. I also think Let Love Rule is one of his best tracks and the Mama Said , and Let Love Rule albums have to be some of Lenny Kravitz's best work. He is still a really great performer but his older stuff was so raw, and original for the time it was recorded. I think the record companies got in his ear for the later stuff and his sound seems to of changed considerably, although I still find him to be a truly great recording artist of our time.

IMHO, his early work is reminiscent of a modern Curtis Mayfield and his style was very original for that time period. Anyway, enjoy the video.

Here is a link to the Lenny Kravitz website. The site is currently being redesigned at the time of this blog entry, however there's a link to his facebook page, and if you join his mailing list you will receive a link to a free mp3 download. http://www.lennykravitz.com/

I have to go check my email now and get this free download, enjoy the video and your free Lenny Kravitz track. Peace !

Update: Free track is pretty good, it's called I'll Be Waiting . Its a nice acoustic love song. You can't beat free. I also found another website with some more Lenny Kravitz info http://www.lenny-kravitz.com/ . The site has lyrics, tour info, biography, discography, image gallery and more.

Cyber Brains - Blue Brain Project

2010-12-14T14:04:00.000-08:00

This has to be one of the coolest websites I've ever seen. The Blue Brain Project is an attempt by I.B.M. to simulate a human brain via computer. According to the website this is the first comprehensive attempt to reverse-engineer the mammalian brain. Now that's a wild concept! If they succeed they will have created a realistic working cyber-brain. It appears that they are making progress and the implications of what's possible is just incredible.

I can't even begin to explain how this works because of the complexity of the matter. The very basics of this would be to simulate a neocortical column, which is like one microcircuit of the brain. They would simulate neuron activity, and then the process of synapse. This simplified explanation than creates one neocortical column. I believe I read that the human neocortex has about 10,000 - 100,000 thousand of these micro circuits. Then in order for me to completely butcher the explanation of this , they would daisy chain or patch together the appropriate number of neocortical columns and would then have a working computer simulated neocortex. My explanation sucks, so if this topic interests you and you haven't already researched this for yourself check out the link at the end of this post.

This really is right out of the pages of some cyber punk novel come to life. I would guess that once they have a working model, it would just be a matter of time before they figure out how to interface it with a biological brain. That would mean that eventually we could download and upload information into and out of our brains like something out of the Matrix movie. Like Neo in the Matrix we would all be able to learn Kung Fu simply by plugging ourselves in. I know I'm probably sensationalizing this a bit, but at the rates of progress in the computer and technology fields those days may not be very far off.

To take this a step further, it may be a simple matter of time before we can upload our entire brain into a virtual reality. This would create an entirely new paradigm on the concepts of consciousness and reality. The very idea of this type of technology and it applications make my head spin. If your bored and into wild concepts like this you might want to check this out.

http://bluebrain.epfl.ch/

Sisters Of Mercy - Temple Of Love Video

2010-12-13T11:57:00.000-08:00

This just seemed like a really good video for the day. It's cold and snowy where I am so the Temple Of Love seems like a nice warm place to be. This song always brings back some weird memories of much wilder times. This is Temple Of Love by The Sisters Of Mercy. 96 below the wave, Enjoy !

wikileaks Where Is The Real Story ?

2010-12-11T13:29:00.000-08:00

The story of wikileaks and Julian Assange is so bizarre I don't even know where to begin. This story has all the ingredients of a first rate cyber punk spy novel complete with hacker groups, government connections, sex, lies, corruption, and espionage. The cast of characters involved make the story even stranger. You would think this story would be every journalists wet dream ! Yet, all we hear about is how dangerous the wikileaks information is, how it puts troops at risk, and various other propaganda pointing everyone in a direction far from what is really happening here.

Nobody is referencing the strange ties these characters have, or the information that is actually in these documents. Nobody wants to talk about shady backroom deals, or international corruption, or what is really happening in Iraq and Afghanistan. That is apparently what these documents are all about! Why are we only getting a very limited side of the story, and why isn't anyone covering the bigger picture here ? This scenario of limited coverage by the national media, to me, seems to be the scariest part of this story. What happened to the old days of the gum shoe reporter searching for a story, and exposing facts, and corruption ? Have news people simply stopped searching for alternative points of view, content in their complacency of reading off a teleprompter like some mindless potato person? Why are we only getting a very limited perspective of whats going on here ?

I find it sad that a moron who calls himself b0ll0cks has to create a post to at least try and give people an alternative viewpoint on this story. I'm not a journalist, hell I can barely write, yet I'm going to TRY and give you at least a general idea of what could be happening here. I simply ask that if this story interests you, do your own research, go beyond the links I supply, and look into this thing for yourself. I assure you there is more here than meets the eye! With that said, let me try to expose this as it really is.

Lets start with Julian Assange founder of wikileaks.I don't like this guy, I don't trust this guy, and I smell a rat. I feel Julian Assange is patsy number one in this story. I hate speculating, but I feel that in the course of history it will be revealed that this guy had ties to different world government intelligence agencies, and an ulterior motive creating wikileaks. This guy got his start in one of the most notorious hacker groups, the Chaos Computer Club (CCC) of Berlin Germany. Founded in 1981 the Chaos Computer Club was infiltrated by the CIA, KGB, Stasi-East German secret police and just about every other world intelligence agency! The CCC pretty much started the hacker underground.When this group was founded every government in the world was petrified at what these folks could do with a computer. These were the original ARPANET hackers, software crackers, and many members found themselves being recruited by spy agencies and involved in espionage from the very start. I could write an entire post on the history of this hacker group but I probably won't. I assure you though, the history of this group makes for some fascinating research!

Next we have Pfc. Bradley Manning, a 22-year-old intelligence analyst who is allegedly being accused of leaking a huge chunk of this information. This is patsy number 2. The question here is how did our government allow such sensitive information to be leaked. Was he somehow provoked? Don't these people go through serious background checks and psychological profiling ? You would think a person with access to such information, would have an unquestionable service record and dedication to our country. Why would he risk his military career, and possibly his life to leak this information? Why isn't anyone questioning the governments handling of such sensitive information? The very fact that the information was leaked is completely unacceptable!

Enter Adrian Lamo A.K.A: The Homeless Hacker. Adrian first got national attention back in 2003 when he got busted for hacking into the New York Times website. This is the guy who apparently told federal agents that Pfc. Manning was going to leak the information after Manning contacted him through Lamos' wired.com profile. Lamo felt it was his patriotic duty to notify the authorities. I smell a government informant! This story and its characters just keeps getting weirder and weirder doesn't it?

Now lets talk about the perfect timing of the rape and sexual abuse allegations. First off the alegations are based on consensual sex but Assange apparently doesn't like to wear rubbers. This is called "sex by surprise" or "unexpected sex" in Europe and is apparently a crime. "Surprise my dicks in you !" W.T.F! One of the accusers is Anna Ardin and there is apparently sufficient evidence that she may have ties to US financed anti-Castro, anti-communist groups, with surprise TIES TO THE CIA. Besides the impeccable timing of the accusations, its also been reported that the alleged victims threw a party for Julian Assange after the entire so called "sex by surprise" event took place. Women that have been raped usually don't throw parties for their attackers ! Things that make you go hummmm !

I think the bigger story here is our governments inability to secure sensitive information ! I think the bigger story is in the cast of characters and their ties to different government groups ! Every single person mentioned appears to have some sort of government association or affiliation with a group that does. More importantly I think the media should expose the corruption, and shady backroom deals that are found in these documents.

I can only speculate and I hate speculation, but I think Julian Assange is an agent provocateur, with a currently unknown political agenda, I think the wikileaks information was leaked intentionally, and I think the entire debacle was a government op that grew completely out of control. We may never know exactly what happened but I wish someone would at least report on the fact that there is some really shady crap going on here.

In the meantime we have people screaming that wikileaks should be listed as a terrorist organization. Which would mean that every person on the internet that ever linked to wikileaks or frequented the website would be open to F.B.I., C.I.A. and D.H.S. scrutiny and investigations. Another great step for freedom and democracy !

I think its time for the general public to demand that our news outlets start giving us complete stories, with various points of view. This may not be the best article on the subject, yet I feel that if you do your own research you will find that there is much more going on here, and there certainly is a bigger story to be reported. If you made it this far, I want to thank you for taking the time to read such a long post and I hope you found it interesting.

Bloggers note: I included links to various articles on the internet, some of the links in theory go way out in left field. Use your own judgment and please think for yourself. I also ask that anyone interested in this story google some of the names and organizations found in this post and find your own information. Finally if you didn't like this article, then write your own, I would love to see as many alternative views on this subject as possible. If your a REAL journalist I assure you there is a huge story to be found in wikileaks and its cast of characters!

Matrix Quote - Quote Of The Week

2010-12-10T19:43:00.002-08:00

I watched the Matrix tonight for like the 10,000th time. I think the first one is the best. Anyway, this is one of my favorite quotes from the film.

"What you know you can't explain, but you feel it. You've felt it your entire life, that there's something wrong with the world. You don't know what it is, but it's there, like a splinter in your mind, driving you mad."

Quote - from the Matrix

The Holidays No Problem

2010-12-03T15:30:00.000-08:00

While doing some holiday shopping the other day, I got into one of those friendly, idle, chit chats with a fellow shopper. At the end of the conversation she said "happy holidays or Merry Christmas if you can stomach it". I then replied "Merry Christmas to you too". I thought "Merry Christmas if you can stomach it" was such on odd statement coming from someone who obviously celebrates the holiday as "Christmas". In our brief conversation I made no reference to my spiritual beliefs, so why would she make such a statement ? Was it her disdain for the commercialization of her sacred holiday, or some deep rooted fear of not being politically correct, or the possibility of offending a non-christian holiday shopper, or any multitude of other reasons that have been ingrained into our psyche under the guise of political correctness ? Why would anyone not be able to stomach her "Merry Christmas"?

Being Pagan I prefer the term "happy holidays", yet I have no problem wishing a Christian "Merry Christmas", that is after all what they celebrate. If I know someone is Jewish I see nothing wrong with wishing them a pleasant Hanukkah, or a fellow Pagan Yuletide blessings or a universal "happy winter solstice" (not all Pagan traditions celebrate Yule), or an African American happy Kwanzaa (not all black folks celebrate Kwanzaa), etc.,etc.,etc. The point here is I see no problem wishing someone a traditional holiday greeting or blessing on their special day.I also don't see what the big deal is, if someone mistakenly wishes you a Merry Christmas or other holiday greeting, and you don't celebrate that specific tradition.

Have we become so uptight about our religions, that we find the need to throw an innocent pleasantry like a holiday blessing back in someones face with offense, disgust, and a spiteful "I don't celebrate that holiday". Bah humbug ! Lighten up people, it really isn't that big of a deal ! Graciously accept their holiday wishes towards you and yours and move on. The way some people react, you would think Harry Potter just put the cruciatus curse on them. Why not just be thankful for the fact that someone thought enough of you to bestow warm wishes and a holiday blessing upon you at this special time of year ?

Considering so many people celebrate so many different traditions, I just don't see what the problem is with Happy Holidays either. If we dissect the phrase "Happy Holidays" we get "Happy", as in someone is wishing you happiness and joy . I don't see anything wrong with that! "Holidays", can break down to "Holi" or "Holy", something sacred, and "Days", a measurement of time denoting a number of 24 hour time periods. Whatever you celebrate, I'm sure we can agree that these Holy Days are certainly sacred to us all, regardless of our belief system or religious tradition.

So technically this greeting of "Happy Holidays" can break down to "May your sacred days be happy and holy no matter what you celebrate!" What a universally thoughtful and wonderful greeting! What more could anyone ask for?

In closing I would like to bestow upon all my Pagan readers wishes of a warm and blessed Winter Solstice, and for everyone else Happy Holidays or "May your sacred days be happy and holy no matter what you celebrate!"

Blessed Be !

video- Snog - Corporate Slave

2010-11-30T11:23:00.000-08:00

After my last blog entry, this industrial video came to mind. This is Snog-Corporate Slave.

November Snow Moon

2010-11-29T00:52:00.000-08:00

Staring at cold diamond frosted grass under November snow moon. Rusting steel frame architectures of time past fade into the black night skyline of oblivion. The dying industrial city of my birth sleeps peacefully under the star filled heavenly bliss of infinity. In this horizon, the creation of mortal men and great Gods & Goddess’ intersect.

At dawn sunlight the architects of a new aeon arise, building temporal, artificial landscapes in a finite existence. Dreams transform into reality as we step into a new day.

Think Fluoride Is Good For You ?

2010-11-21T16:14:00.000-08:00

Fluoride is so toxic, the best way to get rid of this industrial waste without polluting the environment is to feed it to you! Get educated about this awful product, that supposedly promotes healthy teeth. Check out these links, you might be surprised.

The Truth About Fluoride. It Is Poison

Toxic Chemical In Your Water

Another Public Service Announcement From The Fine Folks At Infowars.com

Cartoon creator Mike Adams. Check out www.NaturalNews.com for more natural health, natural living, and natural news.

Funny Quote Aleister Crowley Magick Without Tears

2010-11-17T15:50:00.000-08:00

Today I was reading Magick Without Tears by Aleister Crowley and came across this sentence. I thought it funny, and decided to post it here.

The customer is usually wrong;
but statistics indicate that it doesn't pay to tell him so.

-Aleister Crowley, Magick Without Tears

Testicle Talk With b0ll0cks

2010-11-16T13:41:00.000-08:00

Welcome to the first edition of testicle talk with b0ll0cks. Today friends, we talk testicles! It seems to be all the rage on the news and at airports, and the topic certainly seems like it's going to stick around for awhile.

Although this is indeed a rather serious matter, I just can't help but poke fun at the topic. At 42 years of age I still chuckle when someone says testicles. Yes, I know I have the maturity level of a 9 year old. Still, you say testicles, I say there's something funny to be said no matter how serious the matter really is.

It seems testicles in the media started a few days ago when boy George our 43rd president, told a joke on national t.v. about his father, George Sr., president 41's testicle humor. The joke is as follows, and as much as the Bush family annoys me, I must admit it is funny.

Apparently after an operation, Bush 41 asked his nurse, “Ma’am are my testicles black?” said Bush 43. “And he says are my testicles black?!” Then, after she reaches for the sheet, he says again: “Are my test results back?”

That George Sr. certainly is a funny guy !

Click here for the full story and video of boy George telling the joke.

Now that was a funny joke, but on a more serious note people are pretty upset about the T.S.A.'s new invasive screening procedures for boarding planes. The Transportation Security Administration, or Testicle Screening Agency: an agency established in 2001 to safeguard United States transportation systems and insure safe air travel hasn't figured out that Americans are a little sensitive about having their private parts groped and photographed in the name of national security.

This is why laws like the Patriot Act are a bad thing. Thank God people are finally speaking up and not saying "well I don't have anything to hide, so whats the big deal ?" I guess its all fun and games till a perfect stranger grabs your nuts! Now you do have something to hide ! All those people who said "I don't have anything to hide, so whats the big deal?" now you see what the big deal is ! You have the right to not have someone stick their hands down your pants looking for contraband. You have the right to not have your genitals photographed or x-rayed for a perfect stranger to look at. This is where all this "I don't have anything to hide" is leading. Everyone feels safer till a stranger grabs their testicles, then they're outraged.

We all let this happen, and it really is time for people to wake up and take back their constitutional rights to privacy. It's time to stop acting like obedient Nazi's who just follow orders and do as they're told. I guess the bigger question here is, if one of these terrorist morons sticks a bomb up his ass, are we willing to go through a full cavity search before we get on a plane? Why not, you don't have anything to hide ! I look forward to the day when a proctologist stuffs his hand up my ass looking for contraband in the name of national security. I know I'll feel safer and why not I have nothing to hide !

Check out these news articles for more information on this topic.

Infowars’ TSA Abuse Story Number 1 Worldwide

TSA Now Putting Hands Down Fliers’ Pants

TSA Targets Tyner In Effort To Chill Nationwide Backlash

Owen JJ Stone and John Tyner – TSA Caught with Their Hands Down Our Pants & Groping Our Rights

John Tyner's Blog and Personal Account

The TSA image on the site was put into public domain by http://www.naturalnews.com/030356_TSA_Nazi.html. Thanks guys !

Excited Holiday Shopper Drops F Bomb On Live TV

2010-11-15T13:04:00.000-08:00

This is classic. An excited holiday shopper drops the F bomb on live t.v. I've never seen anyone so excited about sequins. This is hysterical !

Yule A Go-Go Wacky Christmas Gifts

2010-11-09T17:23:00.000-08:00

The holidays are fast approaching and today I bring you Yule A Go-Go. Proving once again that you can sell just about anything with sex appeal. This is a great video of a go-go dancing girl doing her thing in front of the burning Yule log. Fun holiday songs, a warm fire, and a beautiful dancing girl to keep you warm. Fireside X-mas videos will never be the same. Pour yourself a glass of brandy and chill-out to Yule A Go-Go !

The website for this product is a real hoot. http://www.yuleagogo.com/ . X-mas will never be the same. This gives new meaning to "the gift that keeps on giving !"

I have no affiliation with this product or the website and simply thought it was a cool product to list on the blog for the holidays.

Quote Poetry Amiri Baraka

2010-11-06T17:43:00.000-07:00

What can I say?
It is better to haved loved and lost
Than to put linoleum in your living rooms?

excerpt from In Memory Of Radio - Amiri Baraka
http://www.amiribaraka.com/bio.html

He's Not A Total Moron Senate Campaign

2010-11-06T14:05:00.000-07:00

This absolutely rules. This guy didn't like any of the candidates for senate in his area so he decided to run as a write in so he had someone to vote for. When all else fails vote for yourself. His campaign slogan speaks volumes, "He's Not a Total Moron". I guess we know how he feels about the other guys. Why vote for Karl Fornes ? Because he's not a total moron ! THAT RULES !

I have a hard time believing that some of the candidates we have running for office are the best and brightest this nation has to offer. If I lived in this guys area I would of voted for him just for the statement it makes. What a message it would send to the senate if a candidate like this actually won. Who knows , he might actually make a great senator ! Why, BECAUSE HE'S NOT A TOTAL MORON !

Here is a snippet from his campaign site :

C’mon, Karl, why are you really running for Senate?

Good question. I have several reasons for the campaign.

Republican Tea Bagger Jim DeMint, the self-appointed King Maker of the Tea Bag movement, doesn’t much care for single pregnant women or gay people. Or, maybe, he just doesn’t like teachers.
Democrat Alvin Greene was recently indicted for showing internet porn to strangers. My first campaign promise? “I will not show internet porn to strangers.” (I think I can keep that one.)
My problem is that, years ago, I committed myself to voting in each election, and I simply did not have anyone for whom to vote in the upcoming South Carolina Senate race. With me in the race, I can vote for someone—me!
I am deeply committed to serving my country and all of the opportunities it has afforded me. Just to spare both of us the time, now I want you to imagine a misty retrospective of my life, growing up in the hard scrabble suburbs north of Buffalo, New York, helping to support my family with my paper route and landscaping skills, pulling myself out of poverty through hard work and some luck, etc. Once elected, I’ll let you know how much of that retrospective is accurate.
I want my name in the local paper with enough votes to make people say, “huh?!”

If you want to see the rest of his campaign page click here.

Image of Karl Fornes lawn sign was taken from http://www.cafepress.com/fornofrio. Used without permission under "fair use". Examples of fair use include commentary, criticism, news reporting, research, teaching, library archiving and scholarship.

cool mp3 splitter product review

2010-11-05T12:33:00.000-07:00

I thought I would put up a quick product review today. I am in no way affiliated with this company and just thought it was a really cool product worth mentioning here.

Cool MP3 Splitter is a very simple program that simply splits an mp3 into different sections. Why would I need such a product you might ask? Well this is a great piece of software to have if you collect podcasts, or live dj sets, and like making cd's that play in most stereos or want to separate tracks on a continuous mix dj set.

I discovered this product while looking for a way to split a 3 hour mp3 set of a dj recording. I needed to break it into 3 one hour recordings so I could burn it and play it on the cd player at work.

The software was very easy to use. Just slide the timer over to the section of track that you want to cut, there is a fade out option so you can fade the last 15 seconds of the track this way it just doesn't end abruptly, and then click the next button and the software does the rest for you.

The software is free to try for the first 15 days and then its $9.95 to purchase. I rarely purchase software and I was so impressed with this simple to use mp3 splitter that I had no problem making the purchase. If you collect mp3's and podcasts , this is one piece of software you'll be glad you got.

Messer Chups Political MishMash, Election Time Post

2010-11-01T16:50:00.000-07:00

With this being midterm elections here in the U.S. I thought this would be a funny post. I found this on youtube looking for Messer Chups videos. This video is a mish mash of a bunch of international politicians dancing to the sounds of Messer Chups - Anton Lavey 66.6fm. I thought this was hysterical, hope you all enjoy.

video Faith & The Muse - Cernunnos

2010-08-08T18:20:00.000-07:00

Found this while playing around on youtube and thought it was worth posting here. This is Faith and The Muse playing Cernunnos with a slideshow and the lyrics to the track. I really like the lyrics to this and thought the slideshow was really cool as well.

Internet Radio Stations And Updates

2010-01-14T20:12:00.000-08:00

I updated and modified the internet radio station page on my website. I also made a few changes to hopefully improve the sites look. I added some tables to the internet radio station page and the links page. I plan on adding a few more features to the internet radio station page as well. I’ll get back to that when I have another full day to dedicate to it. As I review stations here they will be updated to the internet radio station page on my website.

For now I think I will keep the musical focus of the blog and website on the electronica genre, with the main focus being house, down tempo, chill, trip hop and Goth style E.B.M., Industrial, and Darkwave. Occasionally there will be some punk, rockabilly, and surf reviews, but there isn’t a lot out there in the rockabilly / psychobilly genres.

I added some c.s.s. to the main page for looks. It was my first attempt at c.s.s. and I think it came out pretty cool. The page just looked a little flat so I added a purple box around the page and a matching dragon. It should load properly in most browsers I hope. I figured I should get with the times and make an attempt at trying to learn at least the basics of c.s.s.

I added a blog roll to the links page, and I will be adding more links shortly. I feel the links page now looks a lot better than just a page of links. I will be adding more useful links shortly. I still want to make a few more changes to the pages format and then I will add some cool links as I come across them on the internet.

Here’s a quick Windows 7 and new computer update. Learning to type on a laptop can be compared to trying to type with your dick. I’m slowly getting the hang of it (typing on the laptop, not typing with my dick). I can type out letters and blog posts no problem but coding is turning out to be a bit of a hassle. I suppose it will just take a bit to get used to the new keyboard layout.

Windows 7 has a feature to write blog posts for blogger and some of the other popular blogging websites out there. I thought this was a really cool feature until I tried to use it today. Maybe, I just have to configure it, but when I went to set it up I found out I have to be online. I thought this would be a good feature for any pre written blog posts I decide to write throughout the day. If you have to be logged onto the internet why would I need their crappy software to do it when I can just go directly to BlogSpot to post. Blogger can be a bit buggy, so who knows, maybe after I get it configured it will work offline or use it to post if it’s not as buggy as the blogger interface.

Anyway, I think I’m back to posting regularly. People often ask does life imitate art, or does art imitate life. Not that this blog is any great depository of the written word, or that the crap I post here could even be considered a literary achievement of any sort, but in the case of this blog art imitates life. When I was just geeking out on my computer and playing chess, there was nothing funny going on, thus the shortage of posts. As I find cool and interesting stuff online and in real life is when I post to the blog. If I don’t find anything interesting or worth mentioning I try not to write anything or I find a video or some cheesy pictures to add here. As long as I go about my day I can usually find at least something interesting to write about (I hope). If I don’t fall into a coding trance, or chess binge I should be fine.

On that note, I just started beating level 2 chess titans regularly. Well I’m at a 10% win / draw ratio. That’s after the 41 games in a row the computer kicked my ass. I have now played 92 games (0h the shame ) and just feel like I’m starting to get some basic chess skills back. I’m going to try to get to 50% win draw ratio and then try level 3. With the original losing streak that’s not going to be for awhile. Ya, I know chess is boring, who gives a crap.

I should be posting regularly so “Thank you, come again!” quote to be said in cheesy East Indian accent.

Some Funny Graphics From Pyzam.com

2010-01-12T17:59:00.000-08:00

I was looking for some graphics for my website and came across these at pyzam.com. I thought they were pretty funny, so I posted them here. Enjoy, and check out pyzam.com for more graphics for your social networking and internet pages. The above image was found searching google for a geek graphic.
The retarded image and the guy wishing everyone a nice day were found under the insult category. Everyone loves a good insult and some of them were pretty funny.
On this note I leave you with have a great day :)

Video - Ayria - My Device

2010-01-10T16:25:00.000-08:00

Just saw this video and thought it was pretty cool so I posted it here. Its Ayria playing My Device.

The Pogues - Fairytale Of New York

2009-12-24T09:58:00.000-08:00

Ya, I've been a little heavy on the videos this month. I just haven't had much time to post and the posts I wrote are a bit to long to pop up quickly. I will be adding some posts after x-mas.

Anyway, this has to be one of my favorite Christmas songs of all time. Its The Pogues - Fairytale Of New York. Awesome tune , enjoy, and Happy X-mas to all who celebrate and Happy Holidays to the rest of ya.

Lisa Thiel - Winter Solstice Song - Video

2009-12-21T14:34:00.000-08:00

Just Fucking Google It ! Fun Link

2009-12-16T16:43:00.000-08:00

Sometimes if I get bored I type google.com into the google search box to see what new features google has come up with. I was playing around on google and came across this link. This is absolutely hysterical. When someone asks a really stupid question in a forum or chat room give them this .

http://justfuckinggoogleit.com/

I don't know how many times I've said this exact statement to friends, relatives, and various morons in chat rooms and online forums. It appears someone registered the domain. Absolutely brilliant !

Rockabilly - Psychobilly - Surf b0ll0cks_rules internet radio

2009-12-16T11:35:00.000-08:00

This weeks internet radio station review is my lastfm.com radio station featuring a huge selection of Surf and Billy style beats. Although my musical tastes lie mostly in the electronica genre of music, I sometimes enjoy surf and rockabilly/psychobilly type beats. My favorite rockabilly station tokyo ninja radio has been down for a really long time now. Which is kind of sad because they played a really nice selection of billy style tunes and they had a pretty cool website. The other night I got the urge for some hillbilly / hellbilly rock and decided to see what lastfm.com had to offer in this genre. I was pleasantly surprised to say the least.

If your into surf style beats like The Ghastly Ones, Satan's Pilgrims, and some of the more classical style beats like Link Wray you will find it on my recommended tracks. There is also a huge selection of Rockabilly,Psychobilly, Gothabilly, and every other Billy imaginable. The Frantic Flinstones, Demented Are Go, The Quakes, Social Distortion, The Guana Batz, The Hellbillys, The Polecats, Batmobile, and much more. If your into surf and rockabilly / hellbilly / psychobilly type tracks check out my station on lastfm.com here. Enjoy.

Santa's Pagan Too - Emerald Rose - Yule Video

2009-12-13T18:07:00.002-08:00

This is a video slide show I found on youtube.com. It's Emerald Rose singing Santa's Pagan Too. I thought this was awesome. This has to be one of the best Yule / Christmas songs I have ever heard. Anyway, I just had to post it.

The Battle Of The Sinuses - Sinus Pressure

2009-12-13T08:51:00.000-08:00

Today is the battle of the sinuses. Now, I know I did that post about "Drink Whiskey To Prevent Swine Flu". I have to tell you it's not doing shit for the common cold, or flu or whatever the hell I keep getting. Blah !!! I hate illness and I rarely get sick except last month and this month with this sinus crap. Usually, I get sick about once a year with a cold or flu and then that's it, and I'm usually fine for the rest of the year. Not this year :(

I am now at the point that I feel fine except for sinus pressure and a runny nose that just won't quit. So today I declare this to be "The Battle Of The Sinuses !". I have declared war on my sinus cavity. I thought I would do a post about sinus infections, runny booger nose, and just fluorescent green yellow snot nose syndrome in general. That's what I seem to be dealing with here today. I have psychedelic boogers that look like they'll glow in the dark .

I've had problems with my sinuses for many years now and have learned many home remedies for Sinusitus, sinus infections, or runny booger snot nose, that I thought I would share with anyone else that may have these problems. So if you have runny snot nose dripping down your face this may be the post for you. Here are my home remedies for sinus problems, runny booger nose, and sinus pressure relief.

I call this one the sinus nuker ! I'll be doing this every hour on the hour today. Get a nose or ear syringe or a Neti Pot and fill with a solution of distilled water, sea salt, and baking soda. I make the solution in a 1 liter container, fill with distilled water, add 2 - 3 heaping teaspoons of sea salt, 1 teaspoon of baking soda and you now have a good sinus nuking solution. Then proceed to fill your ear/nose syringe, Neti Pot with solution and douche out your nose at least 3 times a day. The real trick to this is to slowly squirt the solution up your nose with the head tilted sideways and try to make it run out the opposite nostril. I think they call this Neti Sutra Yoga or some shit, I call it disgusting but it works. Click here for a really cool picture and explanation of this technique at Netiyoga.com.

Not brave enough for Neti Sutra, no problem, here is something for the more timid amongst us. Take a potpourri heater thingy, light a candle to heat up potpourri, fill the bowl with some boiling water, add a couple teaspoons of eucalyptus leafs to the water and stick your nose over it and get inhaling. Be careful not to stick your nose into the boiling water or spill it on you stupid ! <-- Disclaimer and shameless plug for older post. You could also add a couple drops of eucalyptus oil if you have some handy. This really works wonders and I strongly recommend it. If you don't have a potpourri thingy you could always use a tea cup.

If you don't have eucalyptus leaves or essential oils try some vapor rub placed directly under your nose. Some people put the vapor rub on a q-tip and rub around the inside rim of the nostril. I personally don't like that technique however, I here it works well for some. I don't like plugging to many products but that Indian Tiger Balm stuff seems to work great for this technique.

If you have an assortment of essential oils you could rub peppermint oil around the outside of your nose and along the upper cheek bones where your sinuses are. This helps clear you out and feels really great.

I also found this recipe in some oils I purchased. Mix 2 drops eucalyptus, 2 drops tea tree oil, and 1 teaspoon of base oil for chest massage or steam inhale.

Today I am focusing on the nose douche or Neti Sutra every hour on the hour. If you have sinus problems I hope this helps. Now please excuse me as I have to go douche my nose :P

Picture of guy picking nose courtesy of SXC.HU.

Messer Chups - Go Satan Go - Go Honey Go - Video

2009-12-11T11:43:00.000-08:00

Just when I thought I've seen it all, along comes something like this. Today I bring you satanic surf music from Russia. I just discovered this band, and checked out google video and found a few videos of these folks. The tracks sound like something out of a Tarantino flick. Rockabilly / Psychobilly surf punk tracks. I thought this video was pretty fun. Check it out.

I love stuff that sounds like this, and the video is pretty cool also.

The Dyslexic Satanist - Joke

2009-12-09T09:53:00.000-08:00

Did you here the one about the dyslexic satanist ?

The poor bastard sold his soul to Santa .

Now the poor S.O.B. is destined to reincarnate as one of Santa's oafs, oops I mean elfs in his next life. Damned to a lifetime of eternal toy making. I suppose things could be worse.

The above joke was found over at Jester 4.0 joke generator. I added the bit about reincarnation. I thought it was a good joke for the holiday season. Everyone loves a good Christmas joke. If you get a chance check out the Jester 4.0 joke generator here.

I find it odd that if you transpose the letters of Satan you get Santa. It really is the Christmas conspiracy that will never die. Something to think about I guess. All Hail Satan Clause !

Caution Contents Hot Stupid - Observation Warning

2009-11-30T18:57:00.001-08:00

The other day I purchased a coffee with my morning breakfast. After I devoured my pork fat and chicken embryo sandwich with pasteurized processed cheese food product on top, I noticed the warning on the side of the coffee cup. It gave me a bit of a chuckle and I thought I would share this observation with you.

I know one of the corporations got sued because one of their customers spilt hot coffee on their lap and got burned. Because of this and similar lawsuits we seem to have a warning on just about everything these days. I thought to myself why not add STUPID in big bold letters to the end of most warnings. Something like :

Caution, contents very hot Stupid !

We could always keep it real with a warning like this :

To insure we don't get sued by some spectacle making moron like you, we are hereby informing you that our hot coffee really is served hot STUPID !!!

Of course followed by triple exclamation marks to let everyone know that we're super serious and excited !!!! Just a random thought and observation :)

Black Friday - The Charging Of The Doors

2009-11-25T16:20:00.000-08:00

This Friday has been coined by retailers as Black Friday. For anyone outside the U.S, or that doesn't know, Black Friday is a marketing scheme set up by many of the corporate retail outlets to entice consumers to shop. Everyone offers ridiculously cheap bargains on electronics, and a wide array of other goods. Sometimes the items offered are more than 50% off.

People sleep out in front of stores to be first in line for cheap T.V.'s, computers, and whatever else you can imagine. As soon as the retailers open the doors , it's the equivalent of consumer anarchy ! Supplies are often limited and people have actually gotten into fist fights over the last low priced D.V.D player or laptop computer. If I recall, one year a guy shot another guy in an argument over the last stupid talking doll. I guess the guy really wanted the doll for his kid !

Black Friday sounds so ominous , but it really is. Each year at this time, when some retailer opens his door, a few bargain hunters end up getting trampled in a mad dash for savings. Lets face it, it's just not the holidays until some poor slob gets trampled to death in a holiday rush.

I find it funny that as Americans we often look at the running of the bulls in Spain with shock and awe. Many of us find it shockingly ridiculous and awfully retarded. I mean who would willingly subject themselves to being chased down Main St. by a pissed off bull ? Yet tourists from all over the world show up for this event as part of some bizarre ritual to prove their manliness.

Maybe we should change the name of Black Friday to "The Charging Of The Doors". We could market it as a tourist attraction just like the running of the bulls. The city with the highest casualty rate would be the featured destination for the following year. Vendors could sell t-shirts that read "I Survived The Charging Of The Doors"

Anyway, if your going shopping this Black Friday, may your deals be many, and your hassles few. Good luck, have fun, and please be careful.

The Thanksgiving Feast

2009-11-25T16:02:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving is the last true feast. Like in olden days of royal monarchies, when kings and queens , and entire kingdoms celebrated everything with food and drink. A celebration of abundance and prosperity.

Drinks flow freely, and every square inch of the kitchen table is covered with a smorgasbord of deliciousness. Turkey , trimmings and all kinds of treats. Over indulgence is strongly encouraged as we eat till we can hardly move.

So this Thanksgiving, while you sit there stuffing your fat ass with all you can consume, remember we have soldiers overseas in battle. Remember the native Americans, the true ancestors of this great land. Be thankful your not among the growing number of homeless ! Say a prayer to the deity of your choice for a competent government that won't pass legislation allowing your job to be outsourced and reign in a fascist, socialist police state ! Then finally, give thanks for all the great things you have, you ungrateful S.O.B. !

Happy Thanksgiving.

If you think my views on this holiday are cynical then click here to see a google video of William S. Burroughs - A Thanksgiving Prayer .

Nice Warm Drink For Thanksgiving And Christmas

2009-11-25T15:29:00.000-08:00

I didn't have time for the extended bar post for our holiday bar segment. So we will save that for next week sometime. There's still plenty of time before Christmas / Yule. This has to be one of my all time favorite warm drinks for the holidays. As a matter of fact , this has to be one of my favorite drinks for the cold weather days. What makes this drink so appealing for the holidays is its fragrance. Preparation of this drink will fill your entire home with the fragrant aromas of apples and cinnamon.

Ingredients :
Jug of apple cider
1 - 2 cinnamon sticks
1 bottle good bourbon, preferably "Jack"

This is a pretty easy recipe that's almost impossible to screw up. Fill a sauce pan up with apple cider and 1 0r 2 sticks of cinnamon. Place over medium heat and slowly bring to a boil. As soon as the liquid starts to boil reduce heat to low, add desired amount of bourbon and simmer for 5 minutes. Don't over simmer or you will lose all the alcohol to evaporation. Pour into teacups and serve warm.

This is a great drink to serve to your guests as they arrive on a cold Thanksgiving day or snowy Christmas night. It will fill your entire home with the lovely fragrance of apples and cinnamon and your guests will absolutely love the taste of this holiday concoction. I try not to use brand names in my blog but I have tried this recipe with different bourbons and "Jack" seems to work best.

Because you boil away some of the alcohol content of the bourbon during simmering, this is actually a nice light drink to warm up all your holiday guests. I assure you this drink is delicious!

Happy holidays, enjoy, party responsibly , and don't drink and drive.

Basic Drinks With Your Basic Bar

2009-11-23T18:42:00.000-08:00

So now that you've set up your basic holiday bar, lets see what we can do with it. At this time you should have a bottle each of whiskey, rum, vodka, and gin. I'm gonna get into some basic drinks, and then some not so basic stuff utilizing your basic setup. For the record I am a certified mixologist and have spent a little time behind the bar.

Your dark liquor (whiskey,rum) will always mix well with dark sodas. Rum and Cola, Whiskey and Cola. Some of the old timers seem to enjoy a whiskey and club soda from time to time. Finally lets not forget the classic whiskey and ginger ale. A basic drink of this type consists of filling a glass with ice, adding 1 - 2 shots of dark liquor and fill glass with preferred soda. Garnish with lemon or lime.

Your vodka and gins will mix nice with grapefruit soda, and lemon lime soda. You can also make the vodka and tonic, and the gin and tonic. Again fill glass with ice, add 1 - 2 shots alcohol and top off with desired mixer and I prefer lime garnishment with my clears.

Fill a glass with Ice, add 1 - 2 shots vodka, top off with iced tea and garnish with lemon for the basic Ice Pic.

Your basic screwdriver is a filled glass of ice, 1 - 2 shots vodka, top off with orange juice and garnish with a slice of orange.

Here's a ghetto treat that just can't be beat. Gin and juice. It's just what it sounds like, fill glass with ice, 1 - 2 shots of gin, top off glass with desired juice. I like to use grapefruit juice and a dash of cranberry juice for color and added flavor, garnish with orange slice.

Seeing were getting ghetto with this thing, I should tell you about the 50/50 ! Take a glass full of ice and fill half way with gin, fill other half with desired juice, F@!k the garnishment and just serve that shit ! This drink will put a smile on even the most ornery G at your party. Side note , if you decide to serve 50/50's at your next gathering, make sure to disarm all gangsta's at the door as drinking these can open up a big can of whoop ass ! You can also replace the gin with vodka.

Now you don't get much more basic than that, and for the most part those are the main drinks most people consume. Now lets say you want to impress your friends with your bartending skills. Here are a few drinks that aren't so basic.

A Madras is a nice drink that's easy to make. Fill glass with ice , add 1 - 2 shots vodka, fill half way with orange juice, fill rest with cranberry juice and garnish with orange slice.

If you purchased the sweet vermouth for your basic bar, a Manhattan can't be beat. Just fill a rocks glass or juice glass with ice, add a half shot sweet vermouth with 1 and a half shots whiskey, garnish with a cherry and if you want take a teaspoon of the cherry juice and add it to the drink. Manhattans are best made with bourbon, but you can also make due with just about any decent whiskey.

Martini's are pretty simple to make. Take a martini glass chilled from freezer add 2 shots vodka or gin 5 - 8 drops of dry Vermouth and garnish with an olive, or those little mini onions that taste so good but give you the worst breath, or shish kabob an olive and a mini stinky onion on a toothpick and serve. Some people prefer a lemon twist for garnishment. Technically if you use onion instead of olive as garnishment it's called a Gibson.

An extra dry Martini is either 2 shots vodka or gin poured into a chilled Martini glass with 1 drop or no dry Vermouth, garnish as above.

The 007 or James Bond Martini is a half shot gin, 1 and a half shots vodka, 5 - 8 drops dry Vermouth and shaken in a Martini shaker filled with ice and then strained into a Martini glass. Garnish as above. Remember shaken not stirred :)

A vodka or gin gimlet is made with 1 and a half shots vodka or gin, half shot lime juice either fresh squeezed or you can use store bought, pour over ice in rocks or juice glass and garnish with lime wedge.

One of my favorite shot drinks is the Lemon Drop. Take a martini shaker and fill with ice, pour in 2 shots vodka, 2 shot lemon juice, and 2 teaspoons sugar, shake and pour into shot glasses. Should make 4 to 5 shots.

Make a Gin Ricky by filling a rocks glass with Ice, add a shot of gin, fill with club soda, and garnish with lime.

Anyway, these are a few things you can do with your basic bar. I would suggest going to the local book store, or look around online for some bartender recipes. I have a bartender companion next to my bar, it's a small book with 100's of drink recipes. In the next post I'll add a couple more things to our bar, and make some specialty drinks for added holiday cheer ! Happy holidays, and remember happy hour is the hour that is most happy :)

Yule-be-glad, Available In Pharmacies Everywhere

2009-11-20T09:05:00.000-08:00

After the post on the Holiday Hustle Is On and Christmas Music, I was thinking about the make believe Yulebeglad pill. The X-mas pill that removes holiday stress. So I made a Yulebeglad advertisement. Please excuse my basic paintshop skills .

Also Available In Suppositories

Nothing beats holiday stress better than Yulebeglad.
Thanks, Yulebeglad !

On a side note here , Christmas will never be the same again. Antidepressant smiles will fill every shopping center around the globe. The holiday hustle will become a lax and laid back activity that even the most disgruntled shopper will find enjoyable. People everywhere will be saying "Thanks ! Yulebeglad" :)

Bloggers note : The Yulebeglad ad is my design, feel free to post the ad on your blog or website. All I ask is that credit be given to this blog with a small link back or reciprocal link back to this blog wherever you post it.

Stocking The Holiday Bar - Pre Thanksgiving Part 1

2009-11-19T15:45:00.000-08:00

With Thanksgiving fast approaching it's time to start thinking about my favorite part of the holidays, the holiday bar ! Yes, I like to experience the holidays through bloodshot eyes in a euphoric state of intoxication brought on by alcohol and various other party favors. So today we talk about the holiday bar.

Lets start with a basic home bar. The general rule for the most basic of bars is two clear liquors and two dark ones. Sticking with this rule should give you enough liquor combinations to keep every type of cocktail connoisseur happy at your next holiday gathering. My suggestion is a vodka (preferably Russian) and a decent gin for the clears, and a rum and a whiskey for your darks. I also suggest a sweet and a dry vermouth for Martini's.

When shopping for your liquor, stay away from the cheap crap usually found on the bottom shelf at the liquor store. That stuff's only there for the whino's and drug addicts you cheap S.O.B ! Now on the same note but different scale, you don't have to purchase the most expensive top shelf brands either. I suggest sticking with the stuff that's usually on the middle shelf and fairly priced somewhere in between.

Now that we have our four staples of liquor lets get into mixers. For your sodas you'll want cola, ginger ale, lemon lime soda, and some grapefruit soda. I also suggest having some tonic water and club soda. For your juices go with some orange juice, grapefruit juice, cranberry juice, and pineapple juice. I also try to keep some iced tea on hand because the stuff mixes great with vodka.

Were not through yet though ! It's time to get fruity with this thing. I'm talking garnishments. Let's start with the citrus. I suggest some lemons, limes, and oranges. You'll also want to get some Maraschino cherries, and outside of the fruit family, some green olives and those miniature onions that give you the worst breath but taste so good in Martini's.

You now have the makings of a really basic, yet very kick ass bar. This set up will be the foundation of your holiday bar, and you may be surprised at what you can accomplish with this most basic of setups.

Side note : This is going to be a multi-post series spanning from now till New Years. Check back often for drink recipes and some necessary additions to make the perfect Thanksgiving home bar. Next post will be about making some basic cocktails with your basic bar setup.

Martini picture at top courtesy of sxc.hu.

A Thanksgiving Prayer - William S. Burroughs - Video

2009-11-18T19:59:00.000-08:00

I thought I would do something a little different for this weeks video. I was looking for something to watch over at Google video, and decided to look for a documentary about William S. Burroughs. In my humble opinion Burroughs was another one of the great writers of our time. A breed of writer that may soon be extinct. I will probably dedicate a post to him shortly with as much info as I can put together about him.

Anyway, as I was searching for a documentary I came across this tidbit. It's a video of William S. Burroughs reciting a Thanksgiving Prayer. This may offend a few people, but I really liked it. I thought this was most appropriate considering Thanksgiving will be next Thursday. So without further ado I bring you William S. Burroughs - A Thanksgiving Prayer.

The Holiday Hustle And Christmas Music

2009-11-17T08:47:00.000-08:00

That's right people the holiday hustle is on. Like so many people in the U.S. right now, your humble blogging host is among the unemployed. Based on that I have to get my hustle on so I can get some loot to fill Santa's sack. Otherwise there will be no toys for Christmas. Don't be too concerned, I always make ends one way or another. However, this means that I will be trying to post as often as usual but may be a little slack with my posting duties from time to time.

Now nothing makes you realize that you need to get your holiday hustle on more than when your walking through the local retail outlet, or supermarket and you hear the holiday music played over the store P.A. system. On one hand it can be a bit annoying this early in the year, and on the other it gets you motivated to get some loot and shop for holiday cheer for you and yours. I think the retail outlets start a little too early for my tastes, but what the hell it wouldn't be corporate Christmas in America if they didn't stuff it down your throat before Halloween even starts. Remember Christmas is a big factor in the national G.D.P. so get those x-mas trees up, play that music, and get everyone ready to max out those little plastic cards we all carry around.

One store I was shopping in, had the right idea. They played a couple x-mas songs and then a couple normal songs. I thought that was a good idea, and it made you think of x-mas just enough to get in the shopping spirit but yet wasn't annoying enough to give early x-mas stress disorder. I'm sure the pharmaceutical companies will come out with a pill for that soon. They'll call it something like Yule-be-glad and we will all stand in line for it. The slogan will be something like , "X-mas Blues, try Yulebeglad, holiday joy in a pill !" Then some moron will be on a t.v. commercial saying " I used to get so depressed around the holidays, and then I discovered Yulebeglad. Now I'm happier than an Elf in Santa's workshop !"

Anyway the blog will probably start to take on a holiday theme , b0ll0cks style of course. If your looking for some holiday music that isn't too annoying try my post on somafm's holiday lounge channel. They play really chill electronica style x-mas beats. Now I have to go and hustle up some loot for Santa's sack. Peace !

Stupid Extremists - Funny Picture

2009-11-12T21:51:00.000-08:00

Look At These Dopedeez
I Dub Thee Asshats

I was cleaning out my hard drive and came across this. Seeing I didn't post anything today I thought I would share. This was e-mailed to me a long time ago. I thought it was hilarious.

Lingerie Football League or The LFL

2009-11-11T18:53:00.000-08:00

Today I discovered the Lingerie Football League. I had some time to kill before I went Christmas shopping so I decided to play around on the internet for a little while. I came across One Man's Blog and as I was browsing through his posts, I came across one about the Lingerie Football League. Now I'll be the first to admit that I'm a bit of a perv, however, I usually don't go for this type of thing. I don't go to the strip club unless one of my friends drags me there. I avoid the cheesy restaurants that serve crappy chicken wings presented by scantily clad waitress's and I have never been to a bikini car wash. For some reason I find the Lingerie Football League extremely hot.

I'm not a football fan, and rarely watch the sport. This Lingerie Football League could really change that. The idea of hot woman dressed in nothing more than a bra and super tiny short shorts playing football really turns me on. Maybe its some fantasy that never entered my mind till now. Whatever it is, I would really like to see one of these games live.

I did some research and it turns out that the league was started from a pay per view half time show that aired during the Super Bowl. Due to the huge success of the Super Bowl pay per view event an actual league was formed.

The lflus.com website (crashed my crappy computer, but looked pretty cool before my P.C. crashed) which is the official website of the LFL, listed 10 teams in the league. The teams have names like San Diego Seduction, Dallas Desire, Seattle Mist, Los Angeles Temptation, Denver Dream, Philadelphia Passion, New York Majesty, Tampa Breeze ,Chicago Bliss, and Miami Caliente. With names like that you know the girls have to be pretty hot.

Now the coolest thing about this is the fact that these girls really get into the game. As I researched this , I discovered that most of the teams are coached by former NFL players. These girls train hard and play hard. So even though they are really hot chicks in lingerie playing football, they take the game very seriously.

If you want to learn more about this league I found a wiki that gets into a little more detail. Here is the link for the lflus.com website. Be warned if you have an older or slow computer the website crashed my crappy old P.C. You could also check out the post that motivated me to write this over at One Man's Blog.

There's No If, Ands, Or Butts About It !
The Lingerie Football League Is Hot !

The images of the Lingerie Football League were taken from flickr.com jpozadzide's and is used under a creative commons share-alike.

Old Rockers - Observation

2009-11-10T16:18:00.000-08:00

I try not to watch much T.V.. I like The Sons Of Anarchy and a couple other programs that aren't really worth mentioning here. I tune into the cnn and msnbc propaganda networks from time to time. I've even thought about getting rid of my T.V. all together. I can always get the news online. Occasionally like most other people, I will channel surf and see whats available for my viewing pleasure.

Twice this month I came across some programming that I thought might be entertaining, only to be completely bummed out at what I had witnessed. The programs I am referring to were recent concerts performed by old bands. One was a metal band and the other an old punk rock outfit. I wont use the bands names here out of respect for the performers, but seeing geriatric rockers performing old hits to me is a complete disappointment.

Growing up in the era of Punk Rock and Heavy Metal, I remember the concerts, the energy , and the insane mosh pits and slam dancing. Seeing 50 + year old entertainers trying to recreate that energy is not only disappointing but in my eyes just plain sad. I know these guys have to make a living but come on now.

Punk and Heavy Metal was the music of young angst filled youth looking to rebel. The performances these guys put on back in the day were legendary. Seeing a fifty-something year old rocker trying to recreate that is just ridiculous in my mind. Whats next, wheeling Ozzy Osbourne out on a wheel chair made to look like the devils throne. Its preposterous I say !

I know it may just be me, and not everyone shares my view on this. I guess I just want to remember these guys how they were. Forever memorialized as young, outspoken, voices of my generation. Seeing a fifty something year old rocker trying to bang his head or pogo just completely ruins that image for me. Ah, maybe it just makes me feel old.

Sid Vicious - My Way - Video

2009-11-10T07:52:00.000-08:00

I was on google video this morning looking for something to post on the blog and I came across this. Its Sid Vicious doing a cover of Frank Sinatra's My Way. I always liked this track. I liked it in when Frank did it, and I liked it even better when Sid did it. Sid definitely did it his way ! I wonder what Sinatra thought of this, he obviously had to approve it, so he must of liked it.

If you don't know who Sid Vicious was, he played bass for the punk band The Sex Pistols. Eventually the band broke up and Sid went out on his own. His solo career was short lived due to him being indicted on the murder of his girlfriend. Shortly after the murder Sid died of a heroin overdose.

Here are some Sex Pistols and Sid Vicious links if you want to read more.

Click here for Sid Vicious wiki.
Click here for Sex Pistols wiki.
The official Sex Pistols website is here.
Here is a Sid Vicious Google search.

Timeless Beauty - The Hottest Woman Of Our Time

2009-11-09T07:59:00.000-08:00

** Quick note: Just about all the links in this post will take you to personal websites, wiki's, and other links pages on the various celebrities mentioned.

Last night the FX T.V. channel showed the Fantastic Four movies. It was the Fantastic Four followed by Rise Of The Silver Surfer. If you don't know, The Fantastic Four movies were taken from Marvel comics . Here are a few wiki's about it, comic, film, Rise Of The Silver Surfer. Now I was never a huge comic book buff, but I really love when Hollywood does these comic book to movie bits. However, that wasn't the reason I watched these two movies.

The roll of Sue Storm "The Invisible Woman" is played by Jessica Alba. Although the movies and the story lines were really good, I have to say my only motivation for watching these movies was to be able too check out Jessica Alba for the next four hours. Here is a wiki about Jessica. IMHO Jessica has to be one of the most gorgeous women of our time. While watching the movie it got me thinking about who the timeless beauties of our time are.

I feel every generation has a few woman that are what I consider timeless beauties. These are the goddess's of our times. Years into the future people will look at these woman and say "Wow, what a knock out !" A couple examples of older timeless beauties would be Marilyn Monroe , and Brigitte Bardot.

With that said, who are the timeless beauties of our time ? I would have to say Jessica Alba, Pamela Anderson, Madonna, and Jenna Jameson and not exactly in any particular order.

Jessica Alba is just a hot, wholesome, girl next door type. She is the super cutey of our time. Even when she tries to play a badass like her role in Dark Angel, she still comes off cute and adorable. If you do a google search on Jessica Alba you really find no shortage of fan based links and sites dedicated to her.

Pamela Anderson is the ultimate bad ass rocker chick type. She has been referred by many in the press and media as the Brigitte Bardot of our time. To me Pam seems like the type of girl that you could just kick back, party with, and have the time of your life. She's sexy, cute, and funny in a bad ass , rocker chick kind of way. She is also a big animal rights activist and supporter of PETA which I think is pretty cool. Click here for a blog link on PETA's protest of national hot dog month. You can find out a lot more about Pamela Anderson on her very own website pamelaanderson.com.

Now IMHO Madonna is Madonna and just beyond words. The only word I can use to describe her is fabulous. Brilliant business woman, fantastic entertainer, and sexy genius. Click here to go directly to her home page.

Last but not least, remember this is not an ordered list, Jenna Jameson. Jenna is a fellow blogger and possibly one of the hottest and most sensual woman of all time ! I have been a huge fan of Jenna Jameson ever since her appearances on "Wild On E" on the E Entertainment Network. She just oozes lust and sexuality. She is the ultimate party girl, bad girl, and sexy vixen of our time. You can read my review of her role in Zombie Strippers here. As she has appeared in many adult films , and I try to avoid porn links in the blog, I will leave you with her myspace page. If you want to find some of the more adult info on her , just do your own google search as there is no shortage of information online about this sexy lady.

Well that's my unordered list of the timeless beauties of our time. I hope you enjoyed it. If you don't like my list then write your own.

Picture of Brigitte Bardot taken from wiki commons.

Taliban Deodorant - Funny Picture

2009-11-04T13:31:00.000-08:00

Funny Taliban deodorant photo taken from a whole series of Taliban and Bin Laden parody images over at goofyphotos.com. To see the rest of this funny series click here.

My second favorite from the series is the Boeing letter to Bin Laden . Now that you have taken the time to familiarize yourself with Boeings fine line of commercial aircraft, we would like to get you acquainted with some of Boeings other fine products. The image shows a bunch of Boeing war products.

Funny propaganda brought to us by the fine folks of the military industrial complex .

Complaint Letter Generator - Fun Link

2009-11-04T12:59:00.000-08:00

Pissed off, want to vent, but to lazy too write that complaint letter ? No problem, just check out Scott Pakin's automatic complaint letter generator ! I have to say this could prove to be a great tool for the really lazy complainer. Just type in the name of the organization or person you want to complain about, the number of paragraphs you would like the complaint to be, hit the complain button, and padow, the complaint letter generator writes up a personalized complaint letter just for you .

A novel concept indeed. Now when you get pissed off, you don't have to stew over the situation in your mind. You don't even have to think about it anymore. Just go over to Scott Pakin's site and complain away. You can print out the letter and mail it, email the letter, or just send the intended party the link to your complaint.

Here is a sample complaint letter I created using the automatic complaint generator. I just typed in b0ll0cks Rants And Other Spectacles in the organization box. Here is what I received :

I just want to say one thing: B0ll0cks Rants & Other Spectacles is secretly saying that I should just crawl under a rock and die. Let me make clear what is foremost on my mind and what the focus of this letter will be: it's trying to hide the fact that egotism is classically a hodgepodge of viewpoints crafted for mass appeal. Nevertheless, one thing that rings true with crystalline clarity is that if we let b0ll0cks Rants & Other Spectacles sow the seeds of solecism we'll be reaping the crop for quite a long time. B0ll0cks Rants & Other Spectacles claims that diseases can be defeated not through standard medical research but through the creation of a new language, one that does not stigmatize certain groups and behaviors. That claim is preposterous and, to use b0ll0cks Rants & Other Spectacles's own language, overtly dirty. No history can justify it.

I never thought I would live to see the day that a deplorable, unsympathetic pervert like b0ll0cks Rants & Other Spectacles could manage to keep a close eye on those who look like they might think an unapproved thought. I know you're wondering why I just wrote that. I'll explain shortly, but first, I should state that I and b0ll0cks Rants & Other Spectacles part company when it comes to the issue of quislingism. It feels that every featherless biped, regardless of intelligence, personal achievement, moral character, sense of responsibility, or sanity, should be given the power to set the hoops through which we all must jump while I feel that those who fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it. Of course, if b0ll0cks Rants & Other Spectacles had learned anything from history, it'd know that its traveling carnival of lexiphanicism will peddle the snake oil of neurotic Trotskyism eventually. Disguised in this drollery is an important message: It has announced its intentions to carry our once-proud nation deeper into savagery and depravity. While doing so may earn b0ll0cks Rants & Other Spectacles a gold star from the mush-for-brains militarism crowd, I want to live my life as I see fit. I can't do that while b0ll0cks Rants & Other Spectacles still has the ability to perpetuate the nonsense known technically as the analytic/synthetic dichotomy.

B0ll0cks Rants & Other Spectacles is devoid of all social conscience. That's too big of a subject to get into here so let me instead discuss how it is interpersonally exploitative. That is, it takes advantage of others to achieve its own jaundiced ends. Why does it do that? I'll tell you the answer in a moment. But first, let me just say that it twists every argument into some sort of "struggle" between two parties. B0ll0cks Rants & Other Spectacles unvaryingly constitutes the underdog party, which is what it claims gives it the right to make us the helpless puppets of our demographic labels. B0ll0cks Rants & Other Spectacles used to complain about being persecuted. Now it is our primary persecutor. This reversal of roles reminds me that Nature is a wonderful teacher. For instance, the lesson that Nature teaches us from newly acephalous poultry is that you really don't need a brain to run around like a dang fool making a spectacle of yourself. Nature also teaches us that b0ll0cks Rants & Other Spectacles's legatees actually believe the bunkum they're always mouthing. That's because these sorts of malign, scornful yobbos are idealistic, have no sense of history or human nature, and they think that what they're doing will improve the world before long. In reality, of course, b0ll0cks Rants & Other Spectacles is trying hard to convince a substantial number of inconsiderate fribbles to infringe upon our most important constitutional rights. It presumably believes that the "hundredth-monkey phenomenon" will spontaneously incite the most wicked opportunists you'll ever see to behave likewise. The reality, however, is that b0ll0cks Rants & Other Spectacles wants to produce an army of mindless insects who will obey its every command. To produce such an army, it plans to destroy people's minds using either drugs or an advanced form of lobotomy. Whichever approach it takes, if you read b0ll0cks Rants & Other Spectacles's writings while mentally out of focus, you may get the sense that people are pawns to be used and manipulated. But if you read its writings while mentally in focus and weigh each point carefully, it's clear that it is not just maladroit. It is unbelievably, astronomically maladroit. In closing, I consider this letter to be required reading for everyone who still cares that b0ll0cks Rants & Other Spectacles's irritable opuscula rightly deserve to be exposed to criticism. Unfortunately, with our nation's media being as controlled as it is, there's no way that this letter will be widely publicized. Therefore, I'm counting on you to pass on this letter to all of your e-mail contacts.

Thank you.

Now that's one of hell of a complaint ! Not bad for just typing in the name of an organization. I think it's funny that the letter is so incoherent as well. Working in customer service from time to time I know people send incoherent, nonsensical letters like this. They just want to vent and get it off their chest, they could care less if it makes sense or not. Now you don't even have to think up that non sense just go over to Scott Pakin's site and let the complaint letter generator work for you !

Kick Ass Chili Recipe - Hacker Food

2009-11-04T08:24:00.000-08:00

The other day my cousin told me she wanted to learn how to make chili. Being a chili lover myself I told her I would teach her, and write out the recipe for my really awesome, kick ass, damn good chili recipe. I figured if I had to write out the recipe for her, I may as well share it with the rest of the world ! So here is my really awesome, kick ass, damn good chili recipe !

This starts a new segment of b0ll0cks Rants And Other Spectacles. Today I bring you the first installment of Hacker Food ! When you plan on sitting in front of your computer for countless hours, these are quick and easy meals to prepare so that you have some nourishment on hand when needed.

Really Awesome, Kick Ass, Damn Good Chili Recipe

Ingredients :

3 - pounds course lean ground beef
1 - really large onion
2 - green bell peppers
1 - green onion
2 - 8 ounce cans tomato sauce
2 - 8 ounce cans water
1 - 28 ounce can crushed tomatoes
1 - 14.5 ounce can diced tomatoes
1 teaspoon crushed hot red pepper
1 teaspoon paprika
1 teaspoon cilantro
2 tablespoons chili powder
1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1 teaspoon black pepper
1 teaspoon oregano
1 teaspoon ground cumin
4 cloves garlic - finely chopped
2 teaspoons sea salt or regular salt
16 ounce can kidney beans (drained and rinsed)

Directions :

In a large pot pour your 28 ounce can of crushed tomatoes, add 14.5 ounce can of diced tomatoes, add 2 - 8 ounce cans of tomato sauce and the 2 - 8 ounce cans of water. Place burner on medium heat and stir together. Next add your spices, crushed hot red pepper, paprika, cilantro, chili powder, cayenne pepper, black pepper, oregano, ground cumin, and sea salt. Stir all ingredients together and let continue to cook stirring occasionally .

Next chop your 1 large onion in half. Dice half of onion and place directly in sauce, dice other half of onion place off to the side for the time being.

Next chop 1 green bell pepper and dice and place directly in sauce, chop and dice other green pepper and place off to the side for the time being.

Next chop up green onion and place directly in sauce.

Next , finely chop up your 4 garlic cloves, place half of finely chopped garlic cloves directly in sauce and place the other half off to the side for the time being.

Now, in a large skillet add 3 pounds course lean ground beef, and the other half of your vegetables. This means the other half of the onion, the green pepper, and the other half of the garlic cloves. Brown meat over medium heat until done.

Drain excess grease from pan, STRAIN AS MUCH GREASE AS POSSIBLE SO YOU DON'T HAVE GREASY CHILI ! Now add the meat to your sauce and also add the kidney beans.

At this point you should bring to boil stirring frequently, once the mixture gets a slight boil, cover and simmer on low for at least one hour , stirring often so all the flavors marry together. After the chili has simmered for at least one hour your dish is ready to serve.

This recipe should make about 8 to 12 really large servings.

Optional garnishment : For me this is not optional but a must ! Take a few hand fulls of corn chips and crush in a bowl, fill each bowl with chili then sprinkle moderate amount of crushed corn chips over top of chili, get a fresh block of sharp yellow or white cheddar cheese and grate over top of crushed corn chips. Serve immediately so that the texture of the corn chips maintains some crunchiness !

Suggested beverage : Beer (domestic or micro brew) , or any highly caffeinated cola product .

If you followed the directions you should now be eating some really awesome, damn good, kick ass chili d00d ! Enjoy and good luck :)

Penis Envy - Man Camel Toe - Funny Picture

2009-11-03T16:37:00.001-08:00

Penis Envy - Crotch Bulge

I guess this would be considered man camel toe !

I was bored and checking out things at bluntcard.com and thought this was funny. Bluntcard.com has some really funny, and witty, one liner cards to send to friends and post on your myspace or facebook pages. If your bored check out the site and see for yourself.

Here is another one of my favorites from an earlier post, "Something For The Non Smokers"

Halloween A Psychological Perspective

2009-10-30T10:52:00.000-07:00

Conspiracy Of An International Candy Cabal !

Halloween really is every childs first lesson in extortion. The term alone, "Trick Or Treat" just screams extortion. The language really doesn't get any clearer ! If you don't give me a treat, I'm going to play a dirty trick on you !

A brilliant concept to extort a wide variety of sweet confections from the general population. A conspiracy of a grand scale, undoubtedly thought up by an early cabal of candy producers.

The true corporate concept of this holiday being, if they don't buy our candy, we will turn our children against them ! Once a year we will send the children out to play dirty tricks on anyone that doesn't cooperate. Think about it , Al Capone himself couldn't of thought up a better scheme. This holiday brings in millions for the candy industry.

From a slightly discordian and thugish perspective Halloween truly is a great holiday ! All Hail Eris !!!!! All Hail Discordia !!!!! All Hail The Strong Arming Techniques Of The International Candy Cabal !!!!!

Pumpkin image brought to you by Curlys Halloween web page. If your looking for some Halloween images for your blog or website give Curlys a try !

Funny Atheist Gravestone Epitaph

2009-10-30T10:45:00.000-07:00

This is a funny gravestone epitaph taken from Curlys Halloween page. I thought this was hysterical !

Here lies an Atheist

All dressed up

And no place to go

Two Halloween Costumes To Avoid

2009-10-23T07:56:00.000-07:00

Many of us will celebrate this Halloween by going out to a nightclub or party and consuming large quantities of alcoholic beverages and various other party favors. Depending on what circles you run in,the mass consumption of alcohol and various other party favors can lead to some drunken baffoon picking a fight with one of his fellow baffoons. As entertaining as this can be for the rest of us, nobody wants to be that guy.

Two Halloween costumes that just scream "I want my ass kicked by a drunken baffoon " are:

Adolf Hitler - Like in the South Park TV show, dressing up like Adolf Hitler isn't cool man. The impersonation of any famous Nazi war criminal at Halloween could cause both physical and verbal abuse from both the drunken baffoons, and those amongst us who are just appalled by the atrocities the Nazi's carried out during the war.
Osama Bin Laden - In the U.S. this is a very poor costume choice and just screams "Please kick my ass dood !". Living in New York state, there is always at least one moron running around with a Bin Laden costume, and I say its just not Halloween until you witness Osama Bin Laden getting his ass kicked. Maybe it can become a new Halloween tradition.

The choice of either of these two costumes will not only make you a drunken baffoon magnate, but will greatly increase your chances of getting your ass kicked by a drunken baffoon. Living in a free country the choice is yours and some folks may be looking to add drunken brawling to their Halloween itinerary. If so, either of these Halloween costume choices are perfect for you ! Although you really don't need to dress like Adolf Hitler or Osama Bin Laden to act like a complete asshole, it certainly does help.

This has been a public service Halloween fashion tip for those amongst us who may be lacking common sense .

You can also check out the illegal alien costume that seems to be upsetting more than a few people. This may not be the best costume choice for folks in a predominantly Hispanic neighborhood.

Shot Himself In The Foot

2009-10-21T11:36:00.000-07:00

So in order to protect the reputations of those involved, I will simply refer to the person who shot himself in the foot as "this guy". So I was going to visit "this guy" I know who has a log cabin out in the country. I was leaving early Fri. morning and planning on staying till Sun. afternoon. Friday morning I wake up, start packing and the phone rings. " This guy " that I'm getting ready to visit calls up and calmly explains to me that he just shot himself in the foot, he has to go to the hospital, and to come up anyway , and tells me where the keys are hidden to get into the cabin.

I couldn't believe how calm he was about the whole situation and I honestly thought he was joking at first. I get out to the cabin, and nobody is around, so I look where "this guy" said the keys would be , find them and let myself in. About an hour later he shows up on crutches , foot wrapped in bandages, with one of his buddies. He really shot himself in the foot and they just returned from the hospital.

He said he woke up and took the dog out for her morning crap. His dog is a little Pomeranian yipper type dog that he loves dearly. Which is rather ironic because " this guy " seems more like a Pit Bull or German Shepherd type. Anyway, as the dog was sniffing around looking for the perfect spot to crap, a couple of raccoons come up from underneath the cabin and start going after the dog. "this guy" residing in a log cabin, in the middle of the wilderness always carries a loaded 38 on him as there are mountain cats, bear, and assorted wildlife roaming around that would easily eat him or God forbid the dog. His main concern is that the dog will get eaten by one of the wild animals out there.

So the raccoons come out from underneath the log cabin and start going after the dog, there is a light snow on the ground, he yells, the raccoons ignore him and keep going after the dog. To give you an idea of the size of this dog the raccoon is much bigger and would easily tear this dog apart with a quickness. "this guy" jumps in between the dog and the raccoons, draws his 38, slips on the snow and shoots himself in the foot ! Luckily the bullet hits the top of his foot, goes between bones, and is really nothing more than a fairly serious puncture wound and a couple chipped bones. An inch lower and he would of blew out his foot completely , and inch higher and he would of missed completely.

As far as shooting yourself in the foot goes, I would say he got really lucky in an awful situation. I think the worst part of this event for him is the embarrassment. All his redneck buddies were calling him One Shoe, and busting his balls. I had to poke some fun as well. Not to mention he went to the hospital wearing an NRA baseball cap on his head.

If you ever end up shooting yourself in the foot, your going to get a lot of razzing from everyone you know.

Part II to this story coming soon.

Teabagging For Jesus - Pix Definition

2009-10-20T11:17:00.000-07:00

Yes, thats right people, this week were "Teabagging for Jesus". I honestly feel this lady has no idea about the different meanings this "teabagging" could have. I can't believe the media even got away with promoting this term. Political teabagging. I thought it was the most hysterical thing I ever heard on T.V. Now we got little old ladies running around with "Teabagging for Jesus" posters.

If we do a google define on teabagging we get two definitions from en.wikipedia.com

define:teabagging

This is one of the wiki defines

Teabagging is a slang term for the act of a man placing his scrotum in the mouth or on or around the face (including the top of the head) of another person, often in a repeated in-and-out motion as in irrumatio. The practice resembles dipping a tea bag into a cup of tea

Click here to read the entire wiki.

Yankee Doodle Teabagger !

If she does know the ulterior meaning of this word, well
God Bless Her !

Image hosted at http://imgur.com

The Dead Kennedys - Halloween - Video

2009-10-20T07:47:00.000-07:00

Returning to the Halloween theme for this month. I found an old punk video from the early 80's hardcore scene on google video. The Dead Kennedys doing the song Halloween, Live @ Mabuhay Gardens, San Francisco sometime in Feb 1980. If your not familiar with The Dead Kennedys, here is a little bit of wiki:

Italic text taken from wiki:

The Dead Kennedys was an American punk band, formed in San Francisco, California in 1978. Pioneers of hardcore punk during the 1980s, the band gained a large underground following in the international punk music scene.

Their music mixed the more experimental elements of British 1970s punk with the raw energy of the 1980s American hardcore punk scene. Dead Kennedys' songs mixed deliberately shocking lyrics with satirical and sarcastic criticism of social and political issues of the Reagan era.

Click here to read the rest of The Dead Kennedys wiki article.
Click here to go directly to The Dead Kennedys website. deadkennedys.com

Illegal Alien Halloween Costume Upsets Some

2009-10-19T09:54:00.000-07:00

This costume is offending many people. Costumes like this are apparently being sold at Target and a few other retail outlets throughout the country, and some people are finding it upsetting.

I am one of those people that find a racial conspiracy in everything. Take pool for instance. I think it was in one of Spike Lee's movies that some guy described the game of pool as the white ball pushing all the other color balls around and saves the black ball for last. Is there racial undertones in this game? Why is the black ball last ? Why does the white ball push all the other balls around ? Is this part of the grand conspiracy of illuminati programmers subconsciously conditioning the minds of the general population to accept white supremacy? Or is it simply a harmless and fun game to pass some time ? My point being is that we can find racial unrest in so many things we look at. I guess its all in how we look at the situation, item, or event.

Now there are a few different styles of Halloween costumes like this. One is just like the one pictured only the alien has a Cheech Marin style mustache. I think the one that looks like Cheech Marin may be a little over the top and could easily be construed as offensive to some. I couldn't find a picture of the Cheech Marin looking alien, sorry. However , I think the costume shown at left is funny and cute.

I love all things extra terrestrial and technically an alien visitor who didn't register with customs would be an illegal alien. From the extra terrestrial perspective I feel this is a pretty cool costume. I also feel that it is a harmless way to parody a rather serious social issue. I understand that immigration issues are very important to many people. However, I also feel that sometimes we look to hard for racial conspiracies.I guess I leave it up to the individual to decide on this one. What do you think , cute Halloween fun, or racial bigotry?

Click here for article link.

Funny Definition Homophone

2009-10-15T15:34:00.000-07:00

Even though I'm sick I was looking up a word over at Grammar Girl. I wanted to see if thru was actually a real word. Not to get side tracked but apparently it is, however, most people don't take that spelling seriously. Click here for Grammar Girls explanation on thru.

Not only did I learn that thru is indeed a real word, I also learned a new word :) Homophone LOL . What can I say, everytime I hear homo in a word I usually chuckle.

If we do a google define on this word here is what we get.

define:homophone

two words are homophones if they are pronounced the same way but differ in meaning or spelling or both (e.g. bare and bear)

A homophone is not like the bat phone for gay folks. Quick Robin to the homophone ! It isn't a gay party line and it isn't a homo using a phone.

We also get homophonic from this word.

having the same sound
having a single melodic line with accompaniment

Homophonic isn't really good house music played on an incredible sound system or a gay persons stereo. ie; " He put a really groovy record on the homophonic. "

Miss Manners Agrees - Say No To Internet Panhandling

2009-10-15T15:09:00.000-07:00

I'm sick and gloating :) I'm having a hard time believing this one. I was paging through the daily propaganda today (the newspaper) and discovered that Miss Manners agrees with yours truly on my views of the internet panhandler. Otherwise known as Donate Now Blogs.

Click here to see Miss Manners Comments on this subject on Oct. 15th 2009

I honestly don't think her and I see eye to eye on many issues. Yet, if Miss Manners agrees, then I must be on the right track with this. Now for the gloating ! I took a bit of slack from a few people for that post SO TO THOSE THAT DISAGREED, KISS MY GLUTEUS MAXIMUS! GO AHEAD, PUCKER UP AND KISS IT YA PANHANDLING LOSER ! ROFLMA !

On a side note, I'm starting to feel better and I should be back to posting my regular nonsense on Mon the 19th.

Quick Fact - First Two Way Fone Conversation

2009-10-09T12:52:00.000-07:00

On this day in 1876 the first two way conversation on a fone occured.
Alexander Graham Bell we salute you !

Thanks to this day we now have all the wonderful stuff we have today. Internet, texting, e-mail, networking, and the rise of modern communications. I wonder if Alexander Graham Bell had any idea how the phone would evolve and how much it would change the world ?

Marilyn Manson - Halloween Video

2009-10-09T08:51:00.000-07:00

This video is a slide show of Marilyn Manson pictures to his version of "This Is Halloween". The original being from Tim Burtons "The Nightmare Before Christmas" which is a really great halloween movie in itself.

Enjoy

Click here for a wiki on "The Nightmare Before Christmas"

Goatee Mustache - Grooming Tip - Observation

2009-10-09T07:44:00.000-07:00

A simple observation, a random thought, and a grooming tip for any fan of facial fluffery.

Most people with a Goatee mustache
look like they have a hairy ball sack for a chin !

If you would like to learn how to grow one these facial atrocities check out this e-how here.

If your a fan of facial fluffery and would like to check out some real macho, manly beards click here for my post on the World Beard And Mustache Championships.

Zombie Strippers - Horror Movie Review

2009-10-07T15:57:00.000-07:00

I can't talk about zombie movies without plugging one of my all time favorites. If your looking for a really funny horror comedy I highly recommend Zombie Strippers Starring Robert Englund (Freddy from a Nightmare On Elm St.) Jenna Jameson and a whole cast of other sexy ladies.

First off Jenna Jameson can make even a rotting corpse look sexy and in this movie she does just that. She has to be one of my favorite adult entertainers of all time. After seeing Robert Englund in Nightmare On Elm St., his role as a bumbling nite club manager in a strip bar is absolutely hysterical.

Now if you like hot strippers, and you enjoy zombie movies, than this flick is certainly for you. You get hot zombie strippers, a good soundtrack, comedy, and horror all rapped up in a neat little cinematic package. As far as horror movies are concerned this is a win win situation for all viewers.

The basic plot is the govt. is working on a virus to reanimate dead U.S. marines and turn them into the ultimate zombie soldiers. A group of test subjects escape, and one of them ends up in the strip club. One of the strippers gets bitten by the zombie soldier and before you know it the whole club is infected and the zombie strippers do what they do best. They seduce the men, strip, and then try to eat them like any decent zombie stripper would. You can just imagine the whole scenario just explodes into a giant spectacle of sex, gore, and yes even hilarity. This is a must have for any collection of Halloween horror flicks.

Following italic text taken from wiki:

Zombie Strippers is a 2008 zombie comedy, written and directed by Jay Lee, starring Robert Englund, Jenna Jameson, and Tito Ortiz and distributed by Sony Pictures Home Entertainment. It is based on the French existential Theatre of the Absurd play Rhinoceros by Eugene Ionesco.

Click here to read the rest of this wiki.

Now the distribution company has a really nice flash website for the movie. You can find more information about Zombie Strippers and order the movie if you like. The website is fun and definitely worth checking out .

Click here to check out the Zombie Strippers website.

Disclaimer: I have no affiliation with the movie company. I am in no way profiting from this review. This movie review is simply a suggestion for a zombie related movie preferably watched during the Halloween season. Image of Jenna Jameson "I heart Zombie Strippers" is freely distributed on the movie site as a wallpaper and used under fair use to help with the description of the movie.

Zombie Halloween Horror Movies - Public Domain

2009-10-07T09:15:00.000-07:00

I figure going with our Halloween theme this month, I dub this zombie week. We started with a video from the band White Zombie and then I did the post the other day about the Halloween themed wedding and the zombie apocalypse. I thought it would be fun in keeping with the theme of zombies to share a couple fun zombie movies. The best part is these Halloween Zombie Movies Are Free ! Thats right, I'm not going to try to sell you a membership to a movie site, I'm not going to try and get you to click on a referral link for a commission, and I'm not going to try and sell you my favorite movie on an auction site because I have to many of them and need to make room in my home.

What I am going to do is teach you a little bit about public domain movies. Some movies either were not copyrighted or because of there age have fallen into the public domain. This means that you can download them legally and either watch them on your T.V. or on your computer absolutely free !

Some of you might be saying to yourself "Jeez b0ll0cks, I don't want to watch some old horror movie, those movies sucked !". I tend to disagree. Some of these movies were actually very entertaining and if you think they completely suck then just do your version of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and make fun of them. However , it may not come to that.

So my 2 public domain Halloween Zombie movie suggested picks for this week are :
If you click on the movie titles they will take you to a wiki about the movie.

The first movie is the one that started it all in the Zombie Apocalypse category of horror. Night Of The Living Dead George A Romero 1968. This is the ultimate Halloween movie. I watch it at least once every Halloween. Apparently Mr. Romero forgot to copywrite the movie. If you have never seen it before do yourself a favor and check it out. You can watch it on google video free of charge by clicking here.

My second Halloween Zombie pick for this month is White Zombie.This is the movie that the band White Zombie supposedly named their band after. The movie stars Bela Lugosi who you might remember as the original Dracula. The movie was released in 1932. A young man turns to a witch doctor to lure the woman he loves away from her fiance, but instead turns her into a zombie slave. You can watch it free of charge on google video by clicking here.

I was going to have the movies load on the blog but I figured google already had them , so you could watch them there. Not to mention I would make them all small like the videos and nobody wants to watch a movie like that. Using google you can watch it full screen if you like

These are my Halloween Zombie Horror Movie picks and I hope you enjoy them.

Dark Ambient Radio - Internet Radio Review

2009-10-06T15:45:00.000-07:00

This weeks internet radio review is of Dark Ambient Radio. This is another great internet radio station brought to us by zeeee Germans. Now I know, why don't you find some goth, industrial, ebm stations in the U.S. and U.K. d00d ? Number 1 the Germans are light years ahead of the rest of the world in this genre of music. Honestly, I don't know what that says about the Germans but they are producing and putting out some great tunes. Number 2, the best stations I find in this genre seem to be from Germany. This station is no exception.

The station plays whats called dark ambient. It's just what it sounds like ! Dark ambient beats that would be perfect for a Halloween party chill room, or chilling with your girl and a glass of red wine feeling the dark vibes. Honestly these are the perfect atmospheric Halloween beats. I can only describe it as deep, goth ambient. Track after track will put you in a dark, relaxed, chilled out state. Give them a listen and see for yourself. If you have winamp just click here.

Now the website is in German but if you look for a light blue icon of a dude listening to music that says Zuhören / Listen, thats the listen link. I assure you, this station is worth checking out. If you decide you want to read the information on the page you can go to google translate or do what I do and cut and paste the text and use this translator here.

This is my Halloween pick for dark ambient, I hope you enjoy it . Wishing you an extra dark and very chill Happy Halloween :)

A Well Hung Stud

2009-10-05T16:29:00.000-07:00

I found this looking for some funny pix earlier today. I thought it was hysterical. This gives new meaning to the term "hung like a race horse".

When this girl said she wanted to find herself a well hung stud, she was pretty serious. She looks pretty pleased with herself ! You can find more great pix like this at :

http://www.toothpastefordinner.com/
http://www.nataliedee.com/
http://www.marriedtothesea.com/
http://www.superpoop.com/

Video - White Zombie - More Human

2009-10-02T12:04:00.000-07:00

I thought the first October music video to help put us in a Halloween mood should be from the band White Zombie. These folks have to be up in my top 10 metal bands. If your not familiar with the band here is a bit of wiki to tell you more.

Italic text taken from wiki:

White Zombie was a Grammy Award-nominated American heavy metal band named after the 1932 film of the same name, which starred Béla Lugosi.

Based in New York, White Zombie was originally a noise rock band. White Zombie are better-known for their later heavy metal-oriented sound, with lyrics heavily influenced by horror films. Unlike other metal bands of the 1990s, White Zombie was almost exclusively a "fantasy" band, writing songs not based on their aspirations or experiences, but about surreal horror fantasies.

The group officially disbanded in 1998 shortly after the release of singer Rob Zombie's solo album Hellbilly Deluxe.

Click here to read the rest of this wiki.

Gothic Treats For October

2009-10-02T11:07:00.000-07:00

October has to be one of my favorite months. As much as I will miss the warm weather of the summer months, October always places me in a more relaxed frame of mind. Its time to slow down, chill out, and prepare for the winter months ahead. I don't know if its Halloween, or Samhain but the month of October also puts me in a more gothic mind set.So this month along with my usual asshatery and spectacles, I thought I would change it up a bit and celebrate all things dark and gothic in honor of this wonderful month. More gothic style videos, E.B.M radio station reviews, and some halloween style decorating.

Hope you enjoy, have a smooth seasonal transition, and happy October to ya !

P.S. If you want to find out more about the Pagan roots of Hallowe'en, and the holiday of Samhain check out my blog about Pagan beliefs and ritual magic.

Halloween decorations courtesy of Curlys Halloween. Check out Curlys for Hallowe'en style decorations and check out my free graphics links page on my homepage for other free graphic sites for your blog or website.

Gonzo Journalism Writing Concept

2009-10-01T08:55:00.000-07:00

The picture to the left is a modification of one of the original Gonzo flyers/Aspen Wallposters created with artist Tom Benton during Thompson's bid for sheriff of Aspen, Colorado.

I was going through some of my old posts and came across the one I did on Hunter S. Thompson. I clicked on one of the links at the bottom of the page and came across this image and a wiki about the concept of Gonzo Journalism. If we do a google define on this here is what we get.

define:gonzo journalism

A form of journalism in which actual facts are deemed to be less important than a perceived underlying truth

Although Hunter S. Thompson was the king of this, you would think it reassuring that most news stories are not covered this way. Or are they ? I have often wondered how often we get the actual facts other than what the news channel wants us to perceive as factual and truth. We often see this with war protesters, the reporting on supposed anarchists at political rallies, and anything to do with the 9/11 truth movement. What has happened to reporting both sides of the story without bias, in a truthful manner, and without sensationalism. Maybe they really do call it T.V. programing for a reason.

Anyway I digress, when Hunter S. Thompson did it, it was different. Possibly he may have chosen this style of journalism to get the other side or his side of the story out there. The following italic text is from a partial wiki which explains the concept of gonzo journalism.

Following italic text taken from wiki:

Gonzo journalism is a style of journalism which is written subjectively, often including the reporter as part of the story via a first person narrative. The style tends to blend factual and fictional elements to emphasize an underlying message and engage the reader. The word Gonzo was first used in 1970 to describe an article by Hunter S. Thompson, who later popularized the style. The term has since been applied to other subjective artistic endeavors.

Gonzo journalism tends to favor style over accuracy and often uses personal experiences and emotions to provide context for the topic or event being covered. It disregards the 'polished' edited product favored by newspaper media and strives for the gritty factor. Use of quotations, sarcasm, humor, exaggeration, and even profanity is common. The use of Gonzo journalism suggests that journalism can be truthful without striving for objectivity and is loosely equivalent to an editorial.

Click here to read the rest of this great wiki article.

After reading that, I wonder if Hunter S. Thompson would of been a blogger had the phenomena of blogging been all the rage in his time. Anyway, I have taken this post as far as it can be taken. Honestly, I don't even know why I wrote this post. This is one of those posts that just happened I guess, a spontaneous posting.

Something For The Non Smokers

2009-09-30T16:12:00.000-07:00

I found this at bluntcard.com.and thought all the non smokers and smokers alike would get a kick out of this. I thought it was hysterical and if you don't like it , well, read the caption! They also had another one that said

" I don't smoke because I enjoy it,
I smoke because you hate it . "

I enjoy a smoke when I get my drink on and can really relate to this. Now if your gonna bitch about drinking then I say all you 12 step morons need to take a walk off an 11 step pier.

You can also check out my post of funny quote from a drunk guy ! Yup, were just throwing politically correct right out the window, and smacking him in the head with an empty bottle of whiskey on his way out !

Lowrider Bobble Head Homies - Introduction

2009-09-29T11:06:00.000-07:00

I figured seeing hippie bobble head Jesus has met the lowrider bobble head homies, a proper introduction is in order. So here's a little info on the lowrider bobble head homies.

Bobble head lowrider homies has to be one of the coolest automotive toys I have ever seen. The car is automated and bounces up and down like it has hydraulics. It also plays the old song "Lowrider" and as the car bounces up and down the homies heads bounce to the beat. This makes for a most awesome visual spectacle and is very funny to watch.

The car looks to me like an early model Chevy Impala convertible. It has a turquoise paint job, and flashing blue neon l.e.d. lights on the undercarriage. No doubt that in real life this would be one very cool ride that any O.G., pimp, playa, hustla, gangsta, would be most proud to roll in. Or possibly some yuppie that has a love for all things street chic !

The best part of the toy is the inter racial, politically correct homies cruising in this thing together. You get a Latino man driving, a white boy driving shot gun, and a black man chilling in the back seat. Now for our story line of " Hippie Bobble Head Jesus Meets The Bobble Head Lowrider Homies", these guys are a little mysterious. There are a few theories going around the hood about what these cats are up to.

Some Different Theories

One theory is that the guy chilling in the back seat is "Big Daddy Mac". The crazy white boy riding shot gun is his bodyguard / enforcer, and the Latino man is his personal driver / bodyguard. They're cruising around the hood taking care of "Big Daddy Mac's" business. Now they say these guys are pretty bad and nobody in the hood messes with the lowrider bobble head homie crew ! Who knows maybe now that they have met hippie bobble head Jesus, they will change their evil ways.

Another theory is that these guys are programmers from Silicon Valley, or possibly stock brokers from NY or some other high paying white collar job. They're just chilling out in the lowrider on the weekends and keeping it real in this really dope ride. Not a very exciting theory but it could be.

The final theory is that they are under cover cops trying to fit into the hood. Rumor has it that they busted some crack head who was too stoned to realize who they were. If their cops , I hope they don't bust hippie bobble head Jesus for the weed hookup.

I guess we will find out how the story unfolds in future episodes of "Hippie Bobble Head Jesus , Meets The Lowrider Bobble Head Homies" !

Till then , peace !

Joke - Man Wins The Lottery

2009-09-28T14:44:00.000-07:00

My cousin told me this joke the other day and I thought it was pretty funny.

Man Wins Lottery

So this guy comes home from work and asks his wife,
"What would you do if I won the lottery?"
The wife replies,
" I would get a divorce, take half and leave your ass . "
The guy says ,
"Great, I won 15 bucks, now heres 7.50 get the hell out of here !"

Taking Homophobia To The Next Level, Some People Are Just Morons

2009-09-25T08:54:00.000-07:00

Heres another great one from http://lookatthisfuckingteabagger.com/ . I usually don't mock people on an individual basis, but with a sign like this could anyone hold back. I mean really , this one is just asking for it. So now the computer is a homo devil machine. This mental midget has taken homophobia to the next level, possibly the next galaxy. Who does this?

I wonder what a homo devil machine actually does? I wonder if she is concerned that after long hours in front of our homo devil machines we will all turn gay. Homosexuality spreading like a virus through a computer system near you. I can't believe this ones not wearing an "I'm with stupid t-shirt" with the arrow pointing up.

Now besides looking like the missing link in the evolution of man, I could see this one standing out there with the Westboro Baptist Asshats making a spectacle of herself. ( see my post on The Church Of The Flying Spaghetti Monster) Maybe just maybe, if she wasn't such a homophobe, one of her gay friends would of explained to her that her outfit was just plain hideous and not fit for protesting or any other activity public or private ! The worst part about this is I can't figure out if she is a Man that looks like an old lesbian, or a woman that looks like a man that looks like an old lesbian ! Finally, why is she holding the rainbow flag in her hands. Whats that all about ?

When people like this are starting to look like the status quo, I can only be certain the end of the world will soon be upon us.

Personalized B.S.

2009-09-24T16:16:00.000-07:00

O.K. I've been on the go all day and just had a chance to sit down and do a quick post. I've been saving this one for a rainy day. Today is that day, because I've got nothing else for ya.

Now I'm not sure about the legalities of this, so I airbrushed out the state, and any other identifiers other than what the actual license plate says. I thought this was hysterical when I seen it, and I have to say I agree with the driver 100% . Hopefully it stands for BIG BULLSHIT . It could however stand for Big Bob Smith, or Big Ball Sweat, maybe Big Bear Shit. I don't know , use your imagination. I've been seeing a lot of funny ones lately so maybe I'll post more.

The Blog Nazi

2009-09-23T16:43:00.000-07:00

NO POST FOR YOU !

Video DJ Hype Bad Ass - Jungle dNb

2009-09-22T06:52:00.000-07:00

I figured since I've been on this drum and bass kick, I should post a dNb video. So this is a great video of one of my favorite jungle producers of all time DJ Hype. First a little info about Mr. Hype.

Italic text taken from wiki:

DJ Hype began producing in 1989, engineering and co-producing tracks (including chart-toppers such as Exorcist and The Bee) for hardcore staples Kickin’, Strictly Underground, and Suburban Base. Although he never lost touch with his breakbeat roots (even going so far as to spin hip-hop instrumentals over house tracks to add a bit of rhythmic flair), it wasn’t until he launched his own Ganja label in 1994 (with the single Cops) that he began seriously focusing on the post-rave possibilities of sampled breaks.

The Ganja label gained almost immediate popularity, primarily through floor-fillers such as "You Must Think First", "Tiger Style" and DJ Zinc’s Super Sharp Shooter. That popularity peaked with the release of their first LP in 1996: 'Still Smokin’, a label compilation released jointly by Ganja and cohort Pascal’s Frontline imprint. The album became one of the highest-selling independent jungle compilations. Re-released in 1997, its success also led to a major label deal with MCA’s Parousia sublabel and the establishment of True Playaz, a DJ Hype led DJ and production unit also including DJ Zinc, Pascal, and Rude Bwoy Monty.

Click here to see complete wiki.

Now this video is fantastic and is definitely in my top 10 DJ Hype tracks. This guy has so many great tracks it really is hard to choose your favorites. After the video , click on the discogs link below to check out DJ Hypes discography. I don't know who created this video but it literally kicks ass with tons of civil disobedience.

Check out this discography at Discogs.com. This guy has produced a lot of really kick ass tracks.

A Random Thought - When I Die - Death

2009-09-20T09:53:00.000-07:00

When I Die

When I die, I'm totally screwed !
God doesn't want me.
The devil is afraid I'll take over.
Save me hippie bobble head Jesus.

Video DJ Qbert Lamb Chops Best DJ In The World

2009-09-17T07:55:00.000-07:00

DJ Qbert is not only the best DJ IN THE WORLD, he is also one funny guy. This video has to be one of the funniest things I have seen from Qbert or The Invisibl Skratch Piklz. If you don't know who DJ Qbert is, heres some info on the guy.

Italic text taken from wiki:

Richard Quitevis (born October 7, 1969), known by his stage name DJ Qbert, is an Filipino-American Turntablist and composer. He is often referred to as the Jimi Hendrix of the turntables, known to make them sing in complex and subtle ways. He invented the first musical annotation system for scratching, battling and composing on vinyl.

He started his musical career in a group called FM20 with Mix Master Mike and DJ Apollo in 1990. They were playing a show in New York when Crazy Legs saw them and invited them to join the Rock Steady Crew. They accepted, and going by the name of the Rock Steady DJ's they proceeded to take the 1992 Disco Mix Club World DJ Championships (DMC) world title.[4] Qbert was also one of the founding members of the band Invisibl Skratch Piklz. Although there were other turntablist crews before the Invisibl Skratch Piklz, the Skratch Piklz were the first to apply the band concept to turntablism, layering drums, basslines, and scratch solos on top of each other.

You can read the rest of the wiki here.

Anyway, do yourself a favor and check out this hysterical video. Prepare to be amazed and laugh your ass off with Qbert doing his DJ Lamb Chop routine.

Here are some additional DJ Qbert links:

His Homepage DJqbert.net

A good article at metroactive music.

Learn to scratch like DJ Qbert at Scratch University.

Stephen Hawking And Barack Obama Have A Disagreement

2009-09-16T07:33:00.000-07:00

I thought this was absolutely hysterical when I seen it. I found it stumbling last night and thought I would share. I call it Barack Obama and Stephen Hawking have a disagreement.

Stephen Hawking rules and the caption to this photo just cracks me up. Not to mention Barack Obama seems like a pretty decent guy himself. I don't agree with all his politics, but he seems like he has a sense of humor and overall I give him an A for effort. I just don't know if effort alone is enough to get the U.S. back on track .

You can find more great comics like this at :

http://www.toothpastefordinner.com/
http://www.nataliedee.com/
http://www.marriedtothesea.com/
http://www.superpoop.com/

Medicare = Socialized Health Care The Irony Of It All

2009-09-15T14:15:00.000-07:00

Is it just me or do you see the irony here. Great Dopedee Spectacles. I thought Medicare was a form of socialized health care.

This picture was found at http://lookatthisfuckingteabagger.com/

Politics is getting straight up hysterical, and this site finds no shortage of people to make mock of.

Slang Flash Cards And Other Urban Vernacular

2009-09-15T11:31:00.001-07:00

Conditional Cognition had some slang flashcards on his blog and I thought they were the funniest thing I ever seen. I decided to do a post on slang. I often use slang and feel to some degree it is a natural evolution of language. This post is my attempt at poking fun at slang ,pop culture and our current state of linguistics. First lets define slang using a google define.

define:slang

A type of informal verbal communication that is generally unacceptable for formal writing. Slang words and phrases are often colorful exaggerations used to emphasize the speaker's point; they may also be shortened versions of an often-used word or phrase.

I asked Conditional Cognition if I could post my favorite slang flashcard on my blog and he agreed. I thought this was absolutely hysterical. You can see more of this set here.
He told me he purchased the cards at knockknock.biz . With the holidays approaching in the next few months these would make a great gag gift for anyone challenged in the fine oratory art of urban vernacular. We could possibly incorporate these into early scholastic English programs in the more rural parts of the country. Who knows maybe these could replace the Webster dictionary someday.

Speaking of dictionaries, here is another cool site to check out. The urbandictionary.com. This is a useful site for all those words you hear all the cool kids using but were afraid to ask what they really meant. Nobody wants to look stupid by questioning the latest rage in slang. So now you can confidently study the latest slang jargon without anyone being hip to your vocabulary ignorance. Who knows you may even be able to impress your friends with the new words you have added to your slang lexicon.

Maybe we can ditch English all together and start a new Slanguage. According to thesaurus.reference.com this is indeed a real word.

I love peppering my phrases with good slang from time to time. It lets everyone who overhears your conversation know that you spit intelligence and are indeed a hip and very cool character. Hopefully you found this to be a super dope, fly, stupid, crazy post ! I really tried to make my use of the English language banging. Till next time ... Peace Yo!

Write Something Funny

2009-09-15T10:48:00.000-07:00

Something Funny

Observation - An Old Crossdresser Smoking A Pipe

2009-09-14T12:12:00.000-07:00

A few months back I was hanging out at my mothers shop. She has a small retail business in a plaza. While I was gazing out the storefront window an old man walks by dressed as a woman, and smoking a pipe. I couldn't believe my eyes ! I thought this had to be a really ugly old woman smoking a pipe. I stepped out to see if I could get a better look and there he stood, two doors down, an old man, dressed as a woman, and smoking a pipe. The following is my observation of this incredible spectacle.

He wears a bright orange halter top covering his scrawny chest, and exposing an old flabby yet still slender and very hairy midriff.

His skirt made of a faded blue denim fabric, conservatively cut just below the knees. Undoubtedly this is the modified product of thrift store shopping. Probably purchased from the Salvation Army, Amvets, or some other place where people retire their old, outdated, and unfashionable garments to help the poor and needy.

His shoes were old worn out pointy tip cowboy boots. Brown in color, with the natural leather dry, cracked, and exposed at the tips from never being polished. If you seen these boots on a real cowboy you would of thought they were worn out from countless hours herding cattle on a range in Montana or some other western cattle ranching state. Yosemite Sam would of been proud to wear these boots on his feet.

His most distinct feature being his head. Long thinning, greasy, shoulder length hair. Brunette, and faded like his boots. A gruffy wrinkled nicotine stained face sporting a five o'clock shadow reminiscent of Don Johnson's early Miami Vice days, only not so flattering on this guy. His facial expression is that of confusion & concern.

To help accessorize this gender confused spectacle, a giant oversized purse slung over the shoulder. The purse is brown and actually matches his boots. It's design is a cross between an old 50's style bowling bag, and a fashionable potato sack.

Finally to add a touch of style and pizazz. His crowning jewel, an old heavily used cherry wood pipe. I may have just witnessed Bob Dobbs dressed in drag.

The completed ensemble has the look of a white trash trailer whore who has been on a one week long meth amphetamine binge. This mixes well with the pleasant aroma of vanilla tobacco. Poofs of fragrant smoke surround his greasy, nappy head, like an ethereal aura of some transgendered bodhisattva in a perpetual state of confusion.

What message could this man possibly bring ?

video - Ministry - New World Order

2009-09-11T16:19:00.000-07:00

I figure since I did the post on ebm-radio.com I would add a industrial video to the collection. I found a real good video of Ministry performing New World Order. I feel this is such an awesome track and I never seen the live version before. Enjoy.

Funny definition Gaelic

2009-09-10T17:37:00.000-07:00

Todays funny definition is Gaelic. If you do a google define this is what we get.

Define:Gaelic

any of several related languages of the Celts in Ireland and Scotland
Celtic: relating to or characteristic of the Celts

Gaelic is not a reference to a gay couple practicing oral sex.

EBM-Radio.com Internet Radio Station Review

2009-09-10T16:53:00.000-07:00

This weeks internet radio review is about ebm-radio.com. This is a great station for industrial, EBM, Futurepop, Synthpop, Darkwave, Goth, And Dark electronic music. The station itself runs streams for OGG, live 365, and of course mp3 for Winamp, Windows media player or whatever mp3 player you like to use.

I have listened to a lot of stations in this genre, and feel that the folks over at ebm-radio.com have really hit the nail on the head. They play the full spectrum of the genre and really make it all fit together nicely . Unlike some stations who might lean more towards industrial , or specifically ultra dark tracks.

The station like so many other internet radio stations is listener supported. I have never heard a commercial while listening and I have never even heard them ask for a donation. They have a donate now link on the site.If you like what you have listened to why not paypal them a few bucks.They also have the playlist listed with links to amazon so you can purchase the tracks. I suppose this marketing strategy also helps support the station. The way it is set up however is very professional, not spammy, and very informative.

The website itself is nicely designed, and offers forums, articles, music news, and some free downloads. If you like this genre of music , you really should give them a listen. Click here to go to the site.

Gothic image courtesy of sxc.hu stock.exchng vi

Video - Sneaker Pimps - Six Underground

2009-09-03T18:24:00.000-07:00

I was bored earlier playing around on google video and came across this. I love this track and I thought I would share. Sorry for the small screen but I have a slow computer, and I also would like to make sure the video loads quick when the pages load. This is the Sneaker Pimps - Six Underground

Defending The Rights Of The Stinky Since Sept. 03, 2009

2009-09-03T18:08:00.000-07:00

b0ll0ck's
Defending The Rights
Of The Stinky Since Sept. 03, 2009

See earlier post here

News - Hawaii B.O. Book Em DoDo - Another Rant

2009-09-03T08:03:00.000-07:00

This is going to become rant month. They may be passing a law in Hawaii to fine the stinky on all public transit.

Complete story here:
http://www.usatoday.com/news/offbeat/2009-09-02-honolulu-bus-odor_N.htm

This looks like a job for Dan Tanya and his faithful sidekick DoDo. Operation Hawaii B.O. Book him DoDo. As if Hawaii 50 didn't have enough things to do, now they have to issue tickets to the stinky. I think the whole thing stinks. Although I see the reason, I just can't help but think that this reeks of discrimination. The law will apparently cover all things stinky.Clothes, carry on stuff, animals, if it stinks and you bring it on public transit you could get a ticket.

However, it has been my observation that the stinky on the bus or any other public transit are usually the homeless. If your not homeless and your reeking stinking SHAME ON YOU ! Yes, nothing sucks more than when the smelly homeless guy takes the seat on the bus in front of you. That turns a really awful day worst. Do we really want to ticket people that can't pay the fine in the first place though. Nothing like giving a guy a nice swift kick in the nuts when he's down. I would have to assume the stinky homeless already knows hes stinky. See thats the thing about the homeless, they have no home. No home = no shower. No shower = Stiiiiiinky ! Lets further humiliate the poor homeless man, and give him a ticket for smelling like a yaks ass. This constitutes discrimination of the homeless.

What about a hard working construction guy. This guy puts in an honest days work busting concrete or doing some other form of hard labor. He works hard and sweats hard and occasionally he smells hard. Now were going to fine this guy for trying to do the right thing and put food on his table. This constitutes discrimination of the blue collar.

What about the stinky hippie. Yup I know a few of these types. They stink to high heaven. They don't want to put anything unnatural on their body. Deodorant is strictly forbidden as it contains carcinogenic chemicals, and bad for the environment. (Someone should tell these dolts there arm pits are bad for the environment). Yet, are we to now force them to comply? Force them to bath and wear deodorant even though its against their belief system. This constitutes discrimination of the annoying hippie.

What about the glandular, do they need a written letter from the doctor. Please excuse (your name here) for being a smelly bastard. He has a glandular problem which causes him to stink like rotten fish. This constitutes discrimination of the sick and glandular.

I guess I just feel that as an American we have the right to stink from time to time. Although I try to be hygienically sensitive to my fellow American , lifestyles and circumstances don't always allow for an oh sooo fresh scent. Whats next tickets for stinky breathe, or maybe tickets for shabby clothing. Where do we draw the line?

Till next time, SMELL YA LATER :)

Joke - Bar Room Prostitute

2009-09-01T10:39:00.000-07:00

Not feeling very creative today. I woke up with a killer headache. So heres a quick joke.

The Bar Room Prostitute

After a hard days work this guy goes to a corner bar to relax and knock back a couple cold ones. He is dreading going home to his nagging wife who wont stop bitching about the house needing to be painted. As he is sitting there on his second or third drink in walks the most beautiful woman he has ever seen. The man can't take his eyes off the striking beauty. She notices him, walks over and sits down in the seat next to him. The man can't believe his luck. The lovely girl leans over, places her hand on his and whispers in his ear, "I'll do anything you want, no matter how kinky or off the wall for a hundred bucks. Anything at all, the only catch is you have to tell me in 3 words". The man completely blown away by the young ladies indecent proposal, stops and thinks for a second. The man says "anything at all ?." The girl nods her head yes and says "remember you have to describe it in 3 words". The guy says O.K. as he reaches into his wallet and pulls out a nice crisp C-note (100 dollar bill). He places the 100 bucks in the girls hand, looks at her with a big grin and says "Paint My House".

The Rise Of The Internet Panhandler - Rant

2009-08-31T15:08:00.000-07:00

So the name of this site is b0ll0cks Rants and Other Spectacles. We seem to be pretty heavy on the spectacle and a little light on the rants. Today I decided I need a good rant. Yup, I need to clear the air and vent a little bit.

Although I may have some odd ball observations of snark, it takes a lot to really get under my skin. Well, I found something on the internet that just completely annoys the hell out of me. I have noticed a huge increase in what I can only call internet panhandling. It seems just about every other blog you visit lately is either asking for donations or has a cute little paypal button that says donate here. WTF !!!

First lets get into what panhandling really is. If you do a google define on panhandling this is what you get :

define:panhandling

panhandler - One who panhandles; an urban beggar who typically stands on a street with an outstretched container in hand, begging for loose change; A bum

Now when I was a young jackass of about 11 or 12 I remember a few friends and I wanted to go to the movie theater. The problem was none of us had any money. So my one friend had the brainstorm of asking all the passersby on the street for change. We even came up with a little scam and told everyone we had lost our bus fare and needed to get downtown. Most people seeing an 11 year old kid stranded without bus fare were only to happy to throw us 50 cents or a quarter. Before long we had enough money to go to the show, get popcorn, sodas, and the bus ride there and back. (granted the show only cost a couple bucks back then)

So I get home later that day and my mother asks what I did all day. Oh, I said real nonchalantly , "I went to the show". The Show ? Where did you get the money for the show. So I proudly told her about our little scam. My mother hit the ceiling. She started screaming, "thats panhandling you can't do that, wait till your father gets home. What the hell is wrong with you ! " as she chased me around the house with a wooden spoon.

The moral of this story is that I learned at an early age its wrong to beg for money if you really don't need it. (Or if you decide to panhandle money for the show don't tell mom). Panhandling was a highly frowned upon practice in the happy dysfunctional household I called home.

Apparently the rest of the world wide web wasn't taught this valuable life lesson. It seems every, Tom, Dick, and Simple Suzy with a blog wants some sort of handout. Ya, I know, things are tough all over, but come on, have some dignity.

Now, I'm not talking about charity groups, or people that are offering a legitimate service, with a real domain name and some actual overhead. For instance internet radio stations. Just about everyone of them asks for donations. They have licensing fees, bandwidth fees, a ton of time and energy committed to the project, and in some cases even employees. These people are worthy of your donations. They deserve donations. Some of these stations have a rather large bottom line.

With that said, lets now say that your Simple Suzy, or some moron who calls himself b0ll0cks with a free site on blogspot or some other free blogging service. You have no overhead, your blog costs you nothing to maintain, no employees, and you didn't even pay to register a domain name you cheap S.O.B. Why should anyone in there right frame of mind give you even a nickel ? This is comparable to internet panhandling. "Psst, hey buddy , could you spare some change. Come on I'm really down on my luck, I'll tell ya a little story. "

I suppose the blog could be comparable to the bum that does a little song and dance for you on the street corner in hopes that you give him some money. I once new a guy who rapped for pennies, and he was entertaining and good (the penny rapper had some odd philosophy about it though, you couldn't give him a quarter, or a nickel, it had to be a penny. He wasn't a bum either , just some weird guy from the neighborhood. I don't know Ive met some odd folks in my time).

Unlike the penny rapper most of these people with "please donate here" blogs aren't entertaining at all. As a matter of fact, I often feel these mental midgets should be paying me to read some of the crap they post ! WTF ! Maybe they should take it a step further and write a post about being a poor loser, and please give me some money so I can buy fish sticks for my three kids, fix my broken car, and move out of the trailer park.

Are things that bad that you tell a little story on your blog , poorly I might add, and feel your entitled to a little bit of money. Maybe, they realized that their writing ability actually sucks and internet panhandling is the only way they will ever prosper from their talent, or lack there of. Maybe they are under the illusion that if someone paypals them a dollar they can tell everyone they are a working writer or journalist and impress all their friends. I'm sorry but I just find the entire spectacle appalling.

I blog because I like it. I don't ever expect to get paid for writing this crap. I blog because I enjoy writing, not because I hope I will someday have enough traffic to spam my visitors to death ! I blog because I enjoy making people laugh. (Hopefully whoever reads this garbage finds the idiocy here somewhat amusing.) I blog in hopes that just one person comes here, having a crappy day, reads some of my idiotic stories and cracks a smile or gets a good chuckle and can resume his day with a new improved yet slightly disturbed outlook and perspective on life.

I blog because I want to, I like to, and I will never panhandle my visitors for spare change.

Image of homeless man courtesy of stock exchange. http://www.sxc.hu

Random Thought, Observation, And Fashion Tip

2009-08-29T14:29:00.000-07:00

A simple observation, a random thought, and a fashion tip for the portly .

Fat people wearing tie dye look like psychedelic beach balls with legs !

Big Cock Energy Drinks - Site Review

2009-08-25T17:23:00.000-07:00

Wow I just don't know what to say about this one. I was Stumbling when I came across a site about energy drinks. The site takes your body weight and the energy drink of your choice and then calculates how many drinks it would take to kill you. http://www.energyfiend.com/death-by-caffeine

Me being a big fan of energy drinks, Rockstar, Redbull, and various SOBE juices I decided to play along. When selecting an energy drink from the list I noticed a drink called Big Cock. I said this has got to be better than Bawls. So I did a google search to see if this was true. Could there be an energy product out there named Big Cock?

Yup, by the url it appears the Big Cock energy drink company is in New Zealand. http://bcenergy.co.nz/index.php The can has a big rooster on it, thus the name Big Cock Energy Drink. Now I checked out the site and have to say I wasn't all that impressed. The name rules but they should of spent a few extra bucks on site design. Apparently the company logo is Big Cock Hits The Spot, Its Great To Have One. I would change the marketing campaign to something like Everyone Loves A Big Cock. Or you could go with Nothing Quenches Your Thirst Like A Big Cock.

They also have some type of a hemp drink available. The website really isn't that informative. If I didn't find this product on the list of energy drinks from the other site I would of almost thought the site was a parody.

I think I need to get a Big Cock and some Bawls and do a taste test on these products. This way we can find out if Big Cock is better than Bawls. If I should end up getting my hands on some Big Cock I'll make sure to post a full product review here. I wonder if Big Cock Tastes better with Vodka? If you have tried a Big Cock, leave a comment here and let everyone know what you thought.

Was Big Cock satisfying ?
What does Big Cock Taste like?
Did you like Big Cock?
How many Big Cock's have you drank?
How many Big Cocks have you had in a day?
Do you prefer Big Cock in the morning or do you prefer a Big Cock before you go out in the evening?

I have never had a Big Cock and am very curious so please post your comments here.

According to the Death By Caffeine website I would have to drink 111.33 Big Cocks to overdose.

Funny Observations While Standing In A Parking Lot

2009-08-20T15:28:00.000-07:00

So I was standing in this parking lot minding my own business when everything just kind of looked odd . The following is what I observed.

Fat Lady Eating

A fat lady drives by with a mouth full of food. I find this amusing for some reason. The lady really appeared to of stuffed her fat face to its maximum capacity. Fat cheeks nearly exploding with huge mouthfuls of only God knows what. By the sheer size of her, I would guess maybe Micky D's or some other corporate death burger type food product. She sort of looked like a blond haired chipmunk who ran out of room in her puffy chipmunk mouth. Fall is approaching so maybe she was going home to horde it away for the winter.

As I was standing in the parking lot a car pulls up and parks. A silver Dodge Neon. Theres some old English writing on the back window. You know the kind of writing the "gangsters" have on their cars. It reads "Real Diva". I find this ironic being written on the back of a Dodge Neon. Apparently princess couldn't afford the BMW, Mercedes or some other pretentious automobile worthy of the "Real Diva" logo.

A slightly overweight girl steps from the car wearing a black wife beater style tank top, white and red heart print mens boxer shorts , and black flip flops. Her scowling unpainted face leers at all passers by. I can only think, this is truly a diva of epic proportions.

90 Percent Of U.S. Currency Tainted With Cocaine

2009-08-19T17:46:00.000-07:00

The latest drug war propaganda headlines read "90% Of U.S. Currency Tainted With Cocaine". Full story here.

I wonder if I could get a razor blade and start scraping it across bills to collect all this coke. Think about it, you could just keep exchanging bills at the store and the bank until you got about an 8 ball of money coke.

We could start a new drug trend and call it cash coke. The DEA would probably try to outlaw money if the trend took off. That would be some pretty nasty shit to stick in your nose though. I guess you could use it to lace joints and smoke it. Even that seems pretty nasty considering so many people handle the money. The germ factor is just to gross to think of.

Now the news spin on this is that there are so many drug dealers that almost all the money has been tainted. On the radio news feed I listened to last night they said that large amounts of money have been counted in rooms with cocaine filled air. I say b0ll0cks ! Thats the most preposterous thing I have ever heard. Wake up jackass ! Let me tell you how it really is.

Could this have anything to do with the demand and abuse factor ? From my experience, and I have had a bit. You take a bill, roll it into a make shift straw, and start packing your God damn nose with the crap. Consider the fact that we've been raving and discoing with this stuff for the last four decades ! Hum, could that have anything to do with it there stupid ? Everyone using bills to snort this shit for the last forty years might explain why all the moneys tainted you mental midgets !

I've watched people wiff this crap up like they had a Hoover vacuum cleaner for a nose. Someone rolls up a bill, snorts some blow, unrolls the bill and places it back in there purse or wallet. This contaminates the rest of the money in the bill fold. Tainted bills have spread from wallet to wallet, just like coke use has spread throughout the country.

We've all seen this drug spread from the swankiest suburbs to the nastiest of ghettos. People of all races and financial demographics appear to absolutely love this drug. Its not the dealers tainting the money its every person that uses this shit. At this point I'm going to assume that its a lot of people.

Going out to bars and nightclubs I would say at least 1/2 to a 1/3 of the population is using this stuff on a recreational level. Only God knows how many of these people actually have a serious problem. Now thats the scary statistic the media doesn't want anyone thinking about!

Now I've got a few comments on cocaine use. Cocaine users appear to be some of the most paranoid people I have ever encountered. Why would any compulsive paranoid insist on doing a drug thats going to make them even more paranoid? Apparently we love to spend good hard earned money on stuff that makes us paranoid and feel like crap !

Did you ever see these people ? They wiff up a couple lines of this crap and then its straight to the windows. They start peeking out the windows like the N.S.A was staked out in front of the place. Who do these people think they are ? Che Guevara starting the Cuban revolution ! Relax there skippy, its all good, nobody is that concerned about the couple lines of blow you just sniffed.

I had an after hours party at my place awhile back. This guy was all kinds of coked up. He just wouldn't stop with the windows. Finally I told him, look theres nobody out there. If there is somebody out there your only encouraging them and if there planning on coming in theres nothing you or me can do about it. So you may as well kick back, enjoy your buzz and go with it.

That didn't work so I ended up throwing the dude out for acting like a spectacle making asshat and getting everyone else paranoid. Theres always one !

I guess my point is this stuff is complete garbage, yet the American public just can't get enough of this stuff up their tiny little noses. However, to beleive that the tainted bills came from drug dealers and not drug abusers is the most ludacris load of crap ever fed to the American public since weapons of mass destruction in Iraq ! The headline should of read " Cocaine Users Have Tainted 90% of U.S. Currency !"

Good job everyone ;) and keep on partying ! maybe next year we can shoot for 100%.

If you want to see how the drug war has effected the U.S. with incarcerations and wasted money click here :
http://www.drugsense.org/wodclock.htm

Video - Dennis Leary - The Asshole Song

2009-08-18T12:39:00.000-07:00

This weeks video is Dennis Leary singing The Asshole song. This has to be one of the best comedy tunes of all times. I don't know why but I've had this silly song on my mind for about 3 days now. I said I need to add that to the blog. So I went over to google video and there it was. Dennis Leary singing the asshole song. This just reminds me of soooo many people.